Book Club: The Origin Story

 So, in my previous post I mentioned that I started a book club in 2020 that is still going strong. All of the members have really enjoyed it, and I know that some of my readers might be interested in doing something similar. When I mention that I have a book club, many people express an interest in starting or joining one for themselves. A common and very good resolution is to read more, and a book club is one way to get some reading in and exchange ideas with people. It can even be a way to make new friends and deepen existing relationships. So, here's what I did. This is by no means a definitive guide, it's just the story of my little book club. Feel free to take some ideas and adapt them to you and your friend group. There are no rules here, there is no wrong way to do it. The point is to get people reading and interacting, and any way you can do that is welcome.

So, my initial motivation for this was to make sure that I stayed in touch with my college friends who lived nearby. It was getting silly that these people live less than an hour away and I would forget to see them for months at a time. We needed a reason to get together regularly. We, like all good Hilldale students, love to read and exchange ideas, so a book club seemed an appropriate way to facilitate that.

At our first meeting, I asked people to be thinking about books that not everyone will have read, that have a lot of things that can be discussed, and that we would all enjoy reading. We had an initial pre-meeting where we came to a consensus and agreed to meet on a particular day and time with a copy in hand and the first chapter read. Our first book? the Watchmen graphic novel. Remember, there are no rules. If we all want to read a graphic novel, then darn it, we are going to read and discuss a graphic novel.

At first, we met every two weeks. Our meetings were roughly an hour, and we would discuss a couple of chapters at each meeting. Generally the first few minutes were a time to catch up and see how everyone is doing, then we open the book and off we go. If we get sidetracked and go off on a rabbit trail, that is okay. If we get hung up on an idea for the whole time, that is also okay. We would go until we were finished with discussion, come to a consensus on what to read for the next meeting, then all go off back to our lives.

I made a Facebook group chat to remind people of meeting time and what chapters we were discussing. This chat was also a great place to share articles or videos that came up in discussion. It was also the place where people would let the goup kow they couldn't make it or would have to be late.

When the shelter in place went into effect for Dallas county, we switched to using a video chat for our meetings. I highly recommend this because it allowed for two very important aspects of this club that have kept it sustainable. First of all, if someone really doesn't want to leave the house that day or the weather is bad, they can still participate. Second, it allowed us to add people not physically close enough to attend. This was a great way to reconnect with some college friends who had been scattered to the four winds.

During the lockdown, we also started meeting weekly instead of every two weeks. This was mostly because we all had nothing better to do. By the time things started opening up, the habit was just there and we kept doing it every week. This worked for us, but every book club should choose a schedule that they can realistically stick to.

When I say that I started a book club, most people's first question is "What kind of books do you read?" And I never know how to answer it because we don't really have a structure for how we choose our books. It's really just whatever we think that we will have good discussion about and can come to a consensus on what we want to read. This past year, we have mostly chosen sci-fi, but that won't be the case forever. We read what we want to read, and that keeps it from becoming a chore.

A lot of people think that a book club requires you to read a whole book between meetings. My book club reads whatever we think we can manage. Sometimes that's nearly 50 pages, sometimes less than 20. We end each meeting by giving the assignment for next week and make sure someone puts it into the group chat for anyone who is absent. By meeting more frequently and reading smaller increments, we can properly discuss each plot point as it comes up and nothing gets skipped over to save time.

One more thing that I feel has benefited my book club has been the lack of pressure. We have people who go several weeks without a word then come back, and that is okay. If someone didn't have time to read this week, we still want them to attend and at least enjoy the discussion. The world is full of things that make demands, book club is a request. It should be a joy, not a drudgery.

This book club has been a real blessing to me this past year, and I hope it has been a blessing to other members as well. We have had many good discussions and exchanged so many interesting thoughts and ideas, and I can't wait for more. Some meetings have better conversations than others, some flow more easily, some go completely off track. But I never regret going to book club.

Maybe this has inspired you to start a book club, check one out, or just to read more in general. The pursuit of ideas and good interaction is always worth the effort. There are no rules to how you should or shouldn't do a book club, be willing to try different things and find what works for your group. Something you can stick to and enjoy long-term is infinitely better than a grand plan that fizzles out in three meetings.

That's the story of my book club and how my group has kept it going for a whole year. It was a group effort, I definitely could not have done it alone. I'm so grateful for their efforts and putting up with my nonsense.

Hope you read some good books in 2021!

2020: A Year to Adapt

Time to review the last year! And no, this is not going to just be me griping about all of the stuff that I missed, that got cancelled, that I was unable to enjoy because of the pandemic. Because here's my big first world problem about 2020: I came out ahead. Even though my precious conventions were cancelled, I gained so much that it ended up a net positive. Allow me to explain.

Okay, I know I said this wasn't going to be a gripe post, but I will gripe a little bit. Because conventions are one of my favorite things on the planet. I make a lot of friends there, I have fun experiences, I spend money on things that I don't "need" but I NEED THIS THING RIGHT NOW. And yes I want my conventions back. I want to wear my costumes that I love building. I want Renaissance fairs. I want meetups. I want concerts. I want plays.

But there's something weird about this year. Because it has required more effort, I have socialized just as much if not more than I normally would have in this last year. And here's how I somehow managed it.

1. This is something that is kind of dumb luck. I have two friends who live in the same apartment complex as me. We each live alone, so when the shelter in place went down in March, I declared us a family that just so happens to live in separate apartments. We are all in our 20's and otherwise healthy, so as long as we were careful otherwise, our risk to each other was minimal. Our little family was a great support to our mental health in such a stressful time. We checked up on each other, had game nights, watched movies together, and talked about normal things when we all needed a mental rest from constant COVID talk.

2. My book club. I'll write a full blog post about how it materialized, but I stared a book club in January of 2020. Part of my motivation was to have an avenue for consistent communication with my college friends. And as luck would have it, this last year was one that needed consistent communication more than any year in my memory. We've had great discussions, added new people, read good books, and enriched each other's lives. Thank you to everyone who has participated in my book club, and I hope it keeps going strong in 2021!

3. I really got pack into RPGs this year. For those of you who don't know (which is going to be most of you), RPG stands for role playing game. The most famous example of this is Dungeons & Dragons, but there are loads of other ones with different worlds and characters. An easy way to think about it is "playing pretend with more math." One person is the game master, and takes players through a story where the players make choices and roll dice to determine the outcome. Example: you come to a door, do you find a key, try to break the door, or set it on fire? You choose to set it on fire, you roll the dice to determine if the door catches fire, and to see if the monster on the other side hears you. I could go on for literal hours, but that's the basic idea. I joined a group of people doing this over a voice group chat. It's a great way to get some social interaction and fun without anyone needing to leave the house. I've played some really fun games and gotten to know some really cool people through RPGs. The creativity that some of these people have is insane, and I love it!

4. As those who follow my blog will know, my love life improved during a global pandemic. While in the depths of lockdown. I know, it's one of the least likely things to happen. But that seems to happen to me a lot. Weird stuff happens, and I make it work. I like to think of it as taking advantage of opportunities. Check out my other blog post to see the story of how I met and started dating my dear Alex. Be warned, it's kind of tooth-rottingly sweet. We're still going strong, and for the first time in my life, I went into a new year with a romantic partner. Feels good, man!

Another thing I did do this year was make a few more cosplays. I had to make myself stop because the ones that I have made have not seen a convention, and I want all of my cosplays to be seen! Building these was fun, and I'm really proud of them. It helps remind me that this won't be forever, and that there will be a tomorrow where I'll wear these. And hey, with the money I saved not attending cons, I can go to even more when they're available again! It may not be the convention scape of before, it'll be a new normal, but that's okay. We will adapt. Here are my cosplays that came into existence in 2020:

This is an enchantress character I made for Renaissance fairs when they come back.

This is a Pokémon trainer from Pokémon Go. It's a pastel rainbow version that I was intending to use in a photoshoot that ended up cancelled. This will still be a fun one for con

The last thing from 2020 that I want to mention in closing out the year is a lesson that I've been thinking about a lot. I have gotten some serious experience being wrong on things that I thought I had all figured out. I've had to learn how to completely change what I think on things because I was proven to be wrong. Me believing or rationalizing doesn't change facts. Examples:

Early on, I thought that the panic over this new virus was worse than the virus itself. Thousands of people dying has proven me wrong. 

I thought that this would be one big wave then it would all be over. Nope. It keeps coming back.

I thought that everyone would just have to get the virus to get it over with. I'm glad I was wrong here. I haven't had a sniff, none of my friend group in Texas has had a sniff, and with the vaccine on the way, chances are I won't have to deal with it. Yessssssss!

I was so wrong on all of these things, and it was difficult to admit that. But I would rather face the discomfort of having to change my thinking than stubbornly hold on to a wrong opinion for the sake of my ego. "I was wrong" is something you are allowed to say. It does not make you less of a person, and it does not mean you are incapable of forming a good opinion, it just means that you had to adapt. And if there's one thing 2020 has forced us all to do, it's adapt.

All things considered, I can't complain too much about 2020. I seriously can't. I know, I'm annoying. I'm so flipping lucky I somehow manage to come out of one of the worst years in recent memory no worse for wear. I am grateful for this, and I have so much sympathy for those who haven't had a good year. I really hope that the next year provides a much-needed fresh start for everyone

Well, here's to another lap around the sun. For good or ill, we're all riding this planet together in 2021. Happy New Year!