Anything Worth Doing...

In job interviews, employers always seem to ask "What is your biggest weakness?" and everyone has an answer prepared. The classic answer is "I struggle with perfectionism" because it's basically  strength disguised as a weakness. Well, I had to find another one because I got news for you: I'm not a perfectionist.

"But Kim," you say, "all of your recipes and cosplays are so perfect, how can you say that?"

I got a little secret for you, those things aren't perfect. Like, at all. I could point out little things wrong with every single thing I have made. Nothing is perfect, and I am well aware of that. I've made things that were awful. But one of my favorite cartoon quotes is from Adventure Time "Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something." If I don't let myself make mistakes, then I'll never get better.

People who are really perfectionistic would probably have an aneurysm seeing how often I fudge it, alter alter it, mes with it, just to make something work. The number of times I have looked at the way a thing is "supposed" to be done and said "screw it, I'm doing this my way" is insane. Has is caused me to waste a lot of time screwing around with something that could be done very easily another way? Yes. Did it also give me an understanding of the process that I may have not had otherwise? Probably. But my goal is always to make it work, not make it perfect. Because I'm my own worst critic, and if I think it works, an outsider will really think it works.

When talking about my cosplay, I like to encourage anyone with an interest to give it a go. Hey, it's a hobby that has bought me a lot of joy and I'd like to see more people involved in it. One thing I've heard on several occasions is "I could never do that because I would want to make something absolutely perfect." That sentiment kind of saddens me. It saddens me that someone could be so afraid of imperfection that they are not willing to try anything new. And even the ones that people perceive as the pinnacles of perfection conceal their fair share of flaws.

I want to make all of this very clear because I don't want to intimidate anyone with this perceived image of perfection. Because I assure you, my creations are not. I don't have any magical superpower that makes me able to make these things without work. My kitchen is a mess, my table is covered in scraps, and I have ideas that I have given up on shoved into the back of my closet. You just don't see that stuff. And those abandoned projects have their own value as well, even if it's not very much. Every stupid, imperfect thing that I have made has been worth doing.

The idea that "anything worth doing is worth doing right" has created a world where perfectionism is the norm. It makes people afraid to try anything new because they will just pick it apart and fuss over whether the result is worthy of its existence. I propose a new way of looking at trying something new: "Anything worth doing is worth half-assing" (pardon my french). Let. It. Be. Imperfect. A C-level paper is better than one not turned in. A thrown-together meal is better than starving. A quick meetup between activities is better than not seeing a friend at all. Life is not perfect. And what's not worth doing is missing out on life because you feel it can't be perfect.

Obviously there are somethings that you can't afford to do imperfectly. You should probably strive for perfection when, say, filing your taxes or working on an important project at work. But no one, and I mean NO ONE has enough energy to make every little thing exactly perfect. Unless they do...pretty much nothing. In life, it's important to be mindful of picking which things will be perfect, and which just have to not be awful.

For friendsgiving this year, I put some of my perfection energy into these pies. For anyone not in the know, friendsgiing is when a group of friends get together for Thanksgiving and each bring a dish and enjoy being thankful for our chosen family. I was on dessert duty, as I normally am for gatherings I can make a lot of things, but my desserts tend to be the most showstopping. I've had a couple of people ask for the recipes because they turned out AMAZING. I'm quite pleased, as pies are not something I make often. The braided crust on the cranberry pear one is something I'll probably do on any pie that calls for a top crust. I like doing it, and it's a nice change from the traditional lattice. And if you want to try the braided crust, but are afraid of messing it up, DO IT. If you screw it up and it looks like a dead octopus, that's fine. It will still taste good. Even if it doesn't, that's okay, too. You tried something new and had a new experience. It's better than not trying it at all. Maybe you can test this one at a Christmas event or for a birthday if the person prefers pie to cake (I do not understand that idea, I am a cake lover, but you do you). Don't expect it to look like the picture on the recipe. Don't expect it to look like mine. It's yours, let it be imperfect in it's own way and enjoy it. A less-than-perfect pie is better than no pie at all. I'm pretty sure everyone can agree on that.

This pumpkin pie will change your life. Most pumpkin pies taste basically the same, but this one is next level. It is more work, but it's so. freaking. good. It's creamy, a bit fluffy, and so flavorful. The filling didn't even fit in my crust, so I made little pie-lets out of the leftover filling. Perfect? No. Delicious? Oh yeah.
Pumpkin Pie Recipe

This cranberry pear is a combo that most people have never tried, which is why I like it. It's also just very good, most people really like it.
Cranberry Pear Pie Recipe


Sprinkles of Kim:
Pumpkin:
-I cut the sugar by 1/4 cup because I was worried that it would be cloying with the maple syrup and candied yams. I was right, the sweetness ended up exactly to my taste.
-Instead of mashing and straining the filling, I blended it. It was faster, easier, and it made the finished product very smooth and a bit fluffy.
Cranberry pear:
-This pie was very juicy, so I recommend actually leaving out the pear juice to cut down on the liquid.
-I used Bosc pears. Do this, they are the perfect compliment to the cranberries.

I hope everyone had a wonderfully imperfect Thanksgiving, now if you'll excuse me, it's Christmas cookie season. And if you read my post on Christmas cookies last year, you'll know that I tend to go a little overboard...and I'll probably do it again.

Grin and...Be Thankful.

Some of the things were grateful for are said through gritted teeth. But don't actually grit your teeth too much, or else you might end up like me.

It's Thanksgiving my friends, and I love it. I haven't been around my whole family in a long time, and I've got a new niece that I need to meet! I have no shortage of things to be thankful for, but I wanted to give a less common perspective.

In the last twelve months, I have spent ~$1500 on my teeth. And none of it is my fault! I brush my teeth, I get them professionally cleaned and looked at every six months, all my dentists say I do a good job of taking care of my teeth.

It all started a couple weeks before last Thanksgiving. One of my teeth was sensitive to pressure, but the dentist couldn't pinpoint any cause, so we waited a few weeks to see if it would get better. I was sure I had a cavity hidden under the filling that was already there, so I had them check again and they suspected a crack, which would need a crown. Great. They sent me to an endodontist to see if the root was infected and it was, so I needed a root canal. Even better.

When I finally had the procedure, they couldn't finish it due to inflammation, so I had to wait with a temporary filling. Then, when I finally got it finished and had a temporary crown put on, I crunched a wasabi pea and broke it (curse you, spicy vegetable snacks!). Once the permanent crown was set, I was so glad that it was finally over.

The whole ordeal start to finish lasted from Thanksgiving to Easter because of how scheduling and doctors and such worked out.

But the next June, I woke up one morning with a familiar dreaded ache in a tooth with a large filling. Oh no, not this again. I called my dentist and set an appointment for a couple of days later. Until then, I chewed on the other side and gave every meal an appetizer of pain medicine to keep it from aching. I worked overtime the whole week to prepare my bank account for the inevitable. At my appointment, the dentist gave a verdict that was not as bad as I feared. The tooth was cracked, but not infected. So it needed a crown, not a root canal. Still expensive, but significantly cheaper. And still not fun. I've spent enough time in the dentist's chair over the years that any fear I may have had is replaced by annoyance and a desire to just get it done and move on with my life.

When you were a kid and were complaining about something, did anyone ever make you say ten things you were thankful for? My parents didn't (which is probably a good thing, it would have just made me mad), but in this situation, I actually did find that gratitude did soften the blow a little. Here's my list:

1. I'm thankful that I have a job with insurance so that all of this cost doesn't come out of my pocket.
2. I'm thankful that I know I have enough money. When I swipe my card to pay, I don't have to worry about it being declined.
3. I'm thankful for a dentist that knows what they are doing and that they were able to diagnose and treat the problem.
4. I'm thankful for modern dental techniques that allowed the procedures to be done with less discomfort than any time in human history.
5. I'm thankful for access to over the counter pain medicine so that I didn't have to put up with even the low level of pain from the procedures.
6. I'm thankful that I live in a country with access to clean water, toothpaste, and other dental health resources. I can't imagine living without those things. The pain would be excruciating.
7. I'm thankful that this is one of the biggest physical complaints I have in my life. I'm not in a place where I have to struggle with pain, limited mobility, or any number of things that I know many people face. I am extremely blessed with my good health, and I try not to take it for granted.

I know that's only seven, but I could probably go a lot more. In the Thanksgiving season, it's easy to be grateful for the things we actively enjoy like our family, friends, pets, a good cup of coffee, but it's not so easy to be grateful for the drooling numbness of yet another dental procedure. But I'm trying to turn more of my complaints into gratitude. Besides, no one wants to listen to me whine about how many times I have been shot up with Lidocaine in the last year and how much I hate it.
In a few days, I'll have the privilege of going back to Nebraska to be thankful for a brand new niece! It's going to be a great(ful) Thanksgiving, and I wish all of my readers the same. Try to appreciate your crazy relatives, and enjoy a second slice of pie if you want.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Use of Vanity

So, I recently had a really cool opportunity. The church I frequent held an event for Thanksgiving where they give gift bags to families with food insecurity to give them a Thanksgiving dinner. The bags were filled with things like a stuffing mix, canned vegetables, and a gift card for fresh itemsWhen they handed out the bags, they also had a carnival for the kiddos with games, a bouncy castle, food, face painting, all that good stuff. IT was amazing and it warmed my heart to see people who don't have much get shown a little love. I really hope that they were able to help create a nice holiday.

That's where I come in. When I heard they were looking for volunteers, a little voice in the back of my head pointed out that I have an Ariel costume. In my closet. That the kids would potentially love. I contacted the person organizing the event and she was all over it. Hey, I already went to all of the work of building the costume, I might as well use it.

The event was this last Saturday and it was amazing. The kids went gaga and I loved it. I got to see their faces light up and gave many hugs. Some of the parents were even more excited than the kids. Some of them tried to throw me off by asking tough questions, and I didn't break character once. I was so glad that I could give people that experience, that special memory. It gave me an odd thought, but one that is worth consideration.

My vanity got me here.

Vanity is supposed to be a bad thing, right? But I would never have been able to do this without it. When I say "vanity," I mean the idea of caring about appearance and things that don't really matter. I love interesting clothes, trying out different makeup, and creating a signature "look". I'm just as comfortable leaving the house in sweatpants without makeup, fashion is just something that I enjoy.

Now I know that "vanity" literally means useless, but I was just able to make it useful. I was able to use my love of fashion and crafting to give a great experience to children and adults. I'm not sure how much lasting impact I had, but If I at least made one kid's day, that's enough for me.

This experience got me thinking about how anything can be useful. Even actual uselessness or "vanity." If I didn't care about clothes or makeup, I never would have had the patience to build an entire Ariel cosplay. If I wasn't willing to put a lot of effort into every little detail from picking the EXACT wig color I wanted to the layering of the petticoats, it wouldn't have had the impact of looking like I had just stepped off the movie screen. If I didn't have a sea of random Disney knowledge sloshing around in my brain, I wouldn't have been able to stay in character while being interrogated by the more astute young'uns. Did something as inconsequential as this outfit open a door to show some love to people?


I had several children explain to me that you use a BRUSH on your hair, not a fork

The takeaway from all of this is that when God says he can use anything, He really means anything. People often take that idea to mean God can use flaws and negative traits, but it is worth noting that God can use traits that aren't really morally positive or negative. I love cosplay, and I'm so grateful that it has given me opportunities to help other people in some small way. I know that I was supposed to be there on Saturday. Even if I never find out the exact reason, I'm glad my silly little hobby could be of use. I'm going to try and keep my eyes open for more chances to use my talents, cosplay and otherwise, in unique ways. Even if it seems like something silly, or even truly useless and vain, there's always a chance it can be used for good.

I'm Not an Inspiration...

I'm not an inspiration...but you can be inspired by me

Okay, let me explain where I'm coming from. I love hearing about humans doing amazing things. Discovering new things, solving problems, looking at the world in a new way. Me being a science nerd, I gravitate towards scientific discoveries. In articles and news about scientific articles, I notice something. When a cool thing is achieved by a woman or person of a minority race, this one word comes up over and over.

Inspiration.

What makes someone an "inspiration"? Is it really just down to something you're born with?

It is important to acknowledge that people are treated differently because of things they can't control like sex, race, social class, or appearance. Yeah, it is waaaaay harder for someone who is wondering where there next meal will come from to do rocket science. And I'm not going to act like it doesn't sting when people say "oh, your degree is in biology? Do you want to be a teacher?" when I know that guys don't have to answer that all the time. People assume I'm a nurse when they  is see my scrubs, never a doctor. But is that what makes an inspiration? Overcoming some unfairness of society?

I remember that one of my big inspirations as a kid was the show Mythbusters. If was investigative and scientific, but also a ton of fun. The hosts, Adam Savage and Jaime Hyneman are passionate about what they do and manage to be educational and entertaining. But no one would say that they are "an inspiration to little girls" because they're guys. Guys can't inspire girls...can they?

There's nothing wrong with wanting to see all different sorts of people achieving great things, I love to see that. Please, achieve what the world says you shouldn't, and be the unexpected. But the emphasis should be on the achievement and what the person actually had to overcome, not just the buzzword. To draw inspiration shouldn't have a list of qualifiers. It limits potential instead of expanding it.

I guess this comes to mind because there are times when I feel like a traitor for not really connecting with someone who is an "inspiration" to my social group. Which is kind of ironic because something designed to be inclusive led to an "us vs. them" mentality. And being someone who does flashy things like cosplay, I want to inspire people. Not just my social group, but everyone. I don't want to just be pigeonholed into one kind of person I can impact. I feel like a lot of people labeled "inspirations" end up with that limitation, so that word kind of leaves a bad taste for me.

The takeaway of these musings is that it's okay to be inspired by anyone. If you are looking for career aspirations, there is nothing wrong with looking up to a stereotypical self-made millionaire, even if you have nothing in common. If you're looking for fashion and style inspiration, it's okay to look outside of your body type (personally, I would encourage it), no matter if that's thinner, fatter, more muscular, different skin tone.

All of these "inspirations" did something that society said they "shouldn't", you can be inspired by someone who you "shouldn't." You are not a traitor to your in-group by feeling a connection to an outsider.

I may not be an inspiration, but you can be inspired by me.

Smart And...

I'm going to let all of my readers in on a little secret. Something about me you may not know. It's something you would never know from casual interaction with me.

I'm smart.

I'm also not sarcastic. Nope, not me. Neverrrrr.

Look, I know it sounds narcissistic to just say it outright like that, but it would be disingenuous to pretend that I don't know that by school standards, I am above average. It's a trait, it's like saying I have curly hair or enjoy the taste of coffee.

Growing up, I was always "The Smart One." If you were to ask anyone to describe Kim, they would say "smart" within the first five words. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's certainly nothing wrong with being smart, and nothing wrong with having that reputation. But something I learned in college that I want to share is a concept that I have dubbed "Smart And..."

I don't want this to sound like a big ad for Hillsdale, but if you make it in, it's pretty much assumed that you are smart. Everyone is at least fairly book smart, it's the baseline. This creates an environment where you can't lean on being smart to define yourself. That would be like leaning on breathing as your big selling point. Everyone does it, whoop-de-do, what else you got? So you're smart.....what else you got?

We're smart. I promise. We have the degrees and tear-stained study guides to prove it

Something that I appreciated about the friend group I ended up with was that suddenly I wasn't "The Smart One" anymore. I was able to really look at what else I could be. My "And.."

The people around me were able to recognize my "and" and point it out to me in ways that I didn't really think of at the time, but that helped shape my perception of myself in a good way. Their reactions to my sense of humor, fashion, and interests helped me realize that I didn't have to be The Smart One. I had never thought of myself as a fashionable person until people started pointing out that I did have a distinctive, interesting style, it's just not what you would see in a glamour magazine. I had quite honestly never thought of myself as particularly artistic (outside of performing arts) until my friends encouraged me to rediscover that I did really enjoy drawing and painting. They saw and valued things in me that I that never really considered as anything worth noting.

What I'm kind of getting at is that they didn't just settle for seeing the most obvious traits. They took an interest in me and wanted to know what lies past that first and even second impression. It really helped me to develop as a person and stop defining myself as the smart one. I'm still smart, but I'm also sharp-witted, lover of all things cartoon, queen of accessories, a good cook. And I am allowed to be all of those things at once. I don't have to have one shtick all the time, I don't have to be "The____ One" I can just be Kim, and that's something I value.

Not that I felt any particular pressure to fill my "The Smart One" role when I was younger, but there were times I felt like people just kind of saw that I was smart and never felt the need to look for more. And I never asked for more because I didn't really see myself as much more. I had my role; I didn't ask anything else of myself and no one asked anything more of me. Maybe that's something everyone goes through to some degree as they mature, but Hillsdale is the only place I have seen so many smart people who care so much about the "And..."

Obviously, no one has the energy to try and look deeper into every single person they interact with, but there really is value in going beyond the obvious for those you care about or wish to know better. And there is definitely value in looking into you own "And..." to maybe cultivate some of those less prominent characteristics that bring you or those around you some joy.

I don't know how much sense this makes to people who aren't me, but I really wanted to share the concept of the "And..." with my readers. I feel that it's something everyone should be aware of. No one trait should define a person's identity, it's like holding up the Parthenon with one pillar. If something happens to that pillar, the structure collapses. People should change over time, and every one of those changes shouldn't have to cause a full-blown identity crisis. Swapping from one stereotype to another is no way to live a life. Finding your "And..." is a big step along the way to an awareness of who you are as a person, good, bad, and ugly. No matter what your "And..." may be, embrace it and maybe along the way, you'll help someone else find theirs.

Medical Labs Exposed!

I know I've been posting a lot about my job, but I've had this idea in my head for a while and I want to get it out because it's kind of a cool thing. There are things that I learned working in the lab that everyone who works in the lab knows and just accepts as normal that are pretty surprising to those on the outside. These were things that I didn't expect when I first got into lab work, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. I thought it might be fun to share a few of those things, so here we go:

1. If you remember learning any lab procedures in a science class, it's all done by machine. I remember learning about the history of medicine and learning about how samples were taken and stained and looked at under a microscope. I always pictured a bunch of doctors huddled over tables with timers getting every stain in order. Nope. It's actually more similar to an automatic car wash. Load the slides, tell the machine which protocol to do, and a prescribed amount of time later you have perfectly stained slides, all coverslipped and ready to be looked at. We all still need a basic understanding of how the stains work to be able to effectively operate and maintain the stainers, but we don't actually carry out the process.

2. Acronyms, acronyms everywhere. As you have probably guessed, we use medical jargon in the lab all the time. A lot of these words and phrases are really, really long. Ain't nobody got time to say "Hematoxylin and Eosin" a hundred times a shift. Thus we have a ton of acronyms that do sound kind of funny if you don't know what they're referring to. The fact that I understand the sentence "This DS case came from the PA this morning and needs to be given to IHC for an HP and then QC'ed, but after that the blocks can be BAP'ed." is kind of interesting to me. I guess every career has its lingo, but it can be kind of strange to hear it from the outside.

3. Every machine has a name. No, not just a brand name or a number, but an honest-to-goodness "people" name. We have multiple machines of the same model and we need to be able to differentiate them. They may move to different parts of the lab, so numbers don't make sense because they would need to stay in order and it would be confusing if we get rid of one. So we give them names so everyone knows which machine we're talking about. And at every lab I've seen, the machine names fall into several subtypes. Sports players, classic movie characters, and cartoon characters. And we refer to them by those names with a straight face every day. My personal favorites at my current job are the special stainers names after characters from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Loading slides onto Donatello then getting more bluing reagent for Splinter is something that happens regularly. So, when you get your results from a blood test or biopsy, know that your results may have come from a machine named Scarlett O'Hara or Daffy Duck.

4. Color is everywhere. At the lab where I work, I had to take a color blindness test when I was hired. It makes sense when you see how vital different colors are to my job. Different colored blocks and slides dictate the order in which we do things or which client they came from. The stains turn the tissue different colors to make it possible to differentiate atypical cells. Knowing what each color means is absolutely vital to what we do. Color makes it possible to tell at a distance what priority those slides are and whether they need to be put with this client or that one. It's like a traffic light. Simple, but very effective.

5. This is probably not a thing at smaller labs, but at a lab with a lot of machines, there is ALWAYS one making noise for attention from someone. A significant part of my job is attending to these various beeps and alarms like I'm running a very expensive day-care. I have literally heard these alarms in my dreams after a long day. You know how parents can hear their child's specific cry in a room of screaming babies? That's how lab aides are with the machines they are assigned to. We can hear a processor go off across the lab or ignore the coverslipper right next to us depending on whose responsibility it is.

6. The potential for things to get messed up is pretty insane, so everyone has to be very detail-oriented. I guess anyone would hope that handling diagnoses would be detailed, but the standard is essentially perfection. We want every patient to get an accurate answer in a timely manner. Part of the reason teach case goes through so many hands is because each one serves as a quality check to make sure it's being done correctly. One block lost can mean no result of it's not detected. If two slides are sent to different departments and not returned to each other, that delays results for no reason. Everyone in the lab has to communicate before small oversights become crises.

Part of why I like doing posts like this is because a lot of medicine is shrouded in this fog of confidentiality and jargon that many people distrust. It does feel impersonal to have a bit of your body sent away and just have results magically appear. So I want to shed a little bit of light on what goes on inside the secured buildings behind badge-locked doors. The people in the lab are human too, and someday they may need a result like the ones they process every day. I'm not saying that there aren't dishonest people and people who don't care, but it's important to remember that at the end of the day, people who work in labs do still care about patients, just in a different way. Trust me, I am not the person you want to squeeze your hand when you're getting a bone marrow biopsy, but when three processors are going off at once, that's when you want me. There is so much more to medicine that the average person just doesn't see, and I'm so happy that I have the privilege to work in this amazing field. Okay, enough sap. It's almost my birthday, I have a party to plan!

On Being a Princess

If you've seen my Facebook over the last few weeks, you may have noticed that my pictures have taken on a certain...royal quality. Okay, I've been plastering my Ariel cosplay over every possible social media platform because I love it. Anyone not in the know about the cosplay world might have a few questions about this costume and what it's like to wear it. In this post, I'm going to answer them because I want to inform people about my strange and wonderful hobby. And mostly, I want to gush about my love of cosplay and how I'm living out a childhood dream.

Did you make it?

Yes, yes I did. That pink and white silk monstrosity was naught but a pile of fabric last January. Disney princesses are a very popular choice for cosplayers, so it was easy to find another Ariel online who had posted recommendations for pattern and modifications. I did buy the lower sleeve bits. I was lucky enough to find them on Amazon in a fabric that stretches. I like being able to bend my arms, thank you very much. I also bought the hoop skirt because I do not have the patience to mess with that. The wig was actually pretty easy to style. Again, other cosplayers had tutorials and enough hairspray will fix anything. I am currently ignoring the fact that it got really tangled from being worn for two days and really needs to be washed and combed.

How long did it take?

Not as long s I thought. I thought it would be at least six months of work, turned out it only took about three. Now, that's on and off work. An hour here, and hour there, maybe an afternoon on weekends. The cutting of all of the fabric took about 5-6 hours, and I did have to make an emergency run to the store for more boning at one point, but it honestly came together fairly quickly. Pro tip: when doing a big project, start with the hardest piece. When I finished the bodice, with its lining and boning and zipper, the skirts were a snap.

How much did it cost?

*laughs, degenerates to tears*.....Actually not near as much as it could have. I found a resource for large swaths of fabric for super low prices. Fabric Wholesale Direct saved my life. I was looking at Joann's all over DFW and couldn't find a place that had enough fabric in the color I wanted at a price I could afford. I resorted to looking online and was not disappointed. The wig was obtained on a Valentine's day sale from Arda Wigs, so it was cheaper than it could have been. I just used a pair of shoes that I had, so that was no cost. Here's my cost breakdown:

Fabric: $45

Notions: $50 (estimate)

Wig: $40

Hoops: $16

Sleeves: $10

Total: $166 *cash register sound*

Isn't that hot?
Yes, but not as bad as you'd think. Those hoops allow for a lot of air circulation, so the only parts that really get heavy are the bodice and wig (you'd be amazed how much a thick wig smothers your neck and shoulders). I didn't really have a problem wearing it all day as long as I made sure to not stay in the sun very long.

How do you go to the bathroom?
*laughs bitterly* you don't. Okay, you wait as long as possible and then try to find a handicap stall. When your outfit is literally larger than a standard bathroom stall, options are limited. I try to find less busy bathrooms so that those who are actually disabled can use the big stalls, but I can only do so much.

Do you get stopped a lot for pictures?
EVERY TEN STEPS AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. Seriously, a lot of people have this idea that they are bothering me when they ask for a picture, but unless I am actively doing something that is hard to interrupt (eating, talking on the phone, etc.), I LIVE for this. Please ask for a picture and let me pose, you don't have to awkwardly sneak a pic. If your kid wants a picture with the pretty princess, absolutely take one with me! Anyone who cosplays a Disney character knows that they are  going to get attention from kids, so we're generally not the type to be like "ugh, children, how gross." I adore seeing them light up and get excited at seeing their favorite characters come to life. I even let them hold the dinglehopper. My costume is made to be worn all day at con and is all washable, so even an errant hand print isn't really a problem My Ariel isn't the best cosplay out there, or even necessarily the best Ariel, but I'm really proud of it and i love sharing it.

Do you do parties or other events?
I'm not currently affiliated with any professional agencies, but if you have an event and would like a princess, feel free to shoot me a message. I made this costume, darn it, and I'll take any chance to wear it. I don't have any fancy training, but I'll read a story, take some pictures, be a bubbly happy princess for charity or a birthday or a church event.

I was definitely one of those girls who wanted to be a princess, and mostly for the poofy dresses and magic. It may not be as impressive as talking to animals or growing a tail, but bringing joy to those around me is its own kind of magic, and I can't wait to do it again and again.

Back to Life!

This blog has been silent for a couple of months, and there's a reason for that. That reason has been that I have had absolutely no energy to do anything not absolutely necessary for life.

Yes, me. Vibrant, energetic Kim has had no energy. She has sat in the dark and been sad. Allow me to explain.

Remember how in my last post I said that I was working overnight shifts? I was so optimistic that I would be able to adjust and be fine, at least temporarily. Nope. Did not happen. My body has declared that it does not like sleeping during the day. I learned a few things about myself, especially what happens when I'm pushed to my limits. Apparently, when I hit a certain level of exhaustion, I burst into tears for no reason. Not fun. If tears happen at exhaustion level 10, I was living day to day at a level 7-8.

Lack of sleep and constant stress does weird things to me. Most obviously, the corner of my mouth split and didn't heal for months. When my dentist noticed this at a regular cleaning, she said that this usually either a B vitamin deficiency or stress. I was pretty sure I knew which it was. Lipstick became a necessity to avoid looking like I have herpes or something.

Another effect of this long-term exhaustion on me is that I get really emotional and mean. Every thought is filtered through the lens of "Do I have the energy? Can I manage this? How long can I keep this up?"so even the smallest question makes me want to say "I DON'T KNOW, LEAVE ME ALONE." If I've come across as unkind to anyone, I am so sorry, being tired is no excuse. I've literally had to stop myself halfway through sentences because I realized I was being ugly. That's not the me God wants me to be, that's not the me I want to be, it needed to stop.

However, that has recently changed. Not without a lot of effort on my part, but I got it. Never let it be said that I am not persistent. It all started in June, when I e-mailed my supervisors to make sure they remembered that I wanted to move to another shift. All well and good. Then another lab aide quit, so I e-mailed the supervisor again asking if I could be considered for that shift. I found out that they were not replacing that shift, but there would be another shift opening up that I might be able to have. Excellent. The e-mail officially stating what shifts would be available went out the second week of July. I put my name in and waited. Waited one week. Waited two weeks. Waited three weeks.

Now, at this point I'm approaching a state of frantic exhaustion. Every day I check my e-mail, and every day I see nothing. I can't plan anything because I don't know when I'll be working. Have I been forgotten? So I did some strategic complaining. I complained about the radio silence to someone who works more closely with those making the decision. He gets the response of "I'll talk to her next week." This was at the end of July.

It was at that moment that I snapped. I had spent the last six weeks talking myself up for every shift saying "one more week, you'll know soon, it's almost over" and "powering through" and "sucking it up" and I was done. No. That is not acceptable. I need an answer. Management has had ample time to at least tell me when they will make a decision, and they have not told me anything. Are they getting my e-mails? I don't know, no one responds. I'm done being strung along while I waste day after day feeling like I'm carrying a backpack full of bricks and not being able to think straight. I relayed all of this to the person who got my response, all at a low volume and very articulate, but obviously very angry. He was shocked that I was ignored for so long and said he would get it sorted.

And you know what? I got my answer within a day. I don't like snapping like that, but I had tried being professional and no one acknowledged my existence. One of the supervisors was supposed to talk to me a while ago, and he never did. Which I would understand if I hadn't sent reminders that went unanswered. Even after getting my new shift, I never got an apology, never got an official confirmation of my new shift, never got a single word over e-mail or in person from this supervisor. Needless to say, he has managed to find his way onto my bad side. But I got my new shift and that's the important part! And I'm so grateful for the people who have been on my side and gone to management when they ignored me.

Within a week of switching to my new shift, I was waking up happy again. My split lip went away, I could concentrate again, and I could make it through a shift without having to grit my teeth to stay vertical. My life no longer revolves around work and I am able to work on side projects! This overnight shift thing has overall been a pretty negative experience, but that doesn't mean I can't draw some good from it.

One thing I've gained from this experience is gratitude. I am so grateful for the people who have accommodated my awful schedule when making plans. I'm also so very thankful for everyone who has put up with my foggy, emotional, kind of mean self and cut me a little extra patience. I don't deserve you amazing people. In my friend groups, I tend to be a person who organizes things and gets the wheels turning, but when I'm so tired I can't do that. I'm grateful for others who have taken that on, it really made me feel loved.

Another thing that I gained from being stuck on third shift that I would like to write about is a newfound sympathy for those with chronic fatigue, depression, and really any condition that sucks away energy and leaves you drained all the time. It really did make me feel like I wasn't myself, and it was frustrating to know that I was capable of so much more. It was like carrying a heavy weight on my body and brain every day that I had to work around. Obviously I can't totally know what it's like to feel that way and not be able to escape. I bounced back with just a shift change, but for many it's not that simple. I've only had a little taste of it, and that was enough. I'm going to strive to be a little kinder to those suffering with exhaustion, because it's harder than I would have guessed.

So, I'm no longer a bat. I have returned to the land of the living. I have a couple of posts knocking around in my brain that I'll hopefully be able to write soon. I actually have the energy to do that, and I'm not taking it for granted. Thanks for reading this far, and I hope to update again soon. Kim out.

The Mythical Land of the Lab

So, working at a medical laboratory, I see a lot of stuff to do that people generally don't think about. They know tissue goes there and that results come back, but not a whole lot else. So, I thought that it might be fun to do a full chronicle of the journey from hospital to result. There's a lot of steps that I'm guessing you never would have thought about. Maybe some of you will find it informative, maybe it'll be boring. Either way, I think it's pretty cool, so I'm going to write about it. Obviously, there is going to be a lot of variation from specimen to specimen, lab to lab, but here's what I have experienced.

1. The courier picks up a bunch of specimens and their paperwork from the hospital. Sometimes these are designed medical couriers, sometimes specimens are literally sent through FedEx. It depends on the specimen, what tests are ordered, and who ends up giving the final diagnosis.

2. When the specimen arrives at the lab, it is accessioned. This was what I did at my old job. Patient data is entered into the computer and verified to match the paperwork and it's given a case number.the case number follows everything associated with that patient's specimen through the lab. Tissue block are printed with the case number. These things are impossible to describe, so here's a picture:

3. The specimen is grossed. This means a Pathologist's Assistant (PA) cuts a bit of the tissue of interest whole describing the specimen into a recording that will later be transcribed and sent with the final report. The bit of tissue is placed into the blocks and loaded onto the processor.

4. The specimen is processed. Processing is basically cooking. In fact, early processing was done in a microwave. Not kidding. Processing removes the formalin and water while preserving the cell structure. Processing can take anywhere from a couple hours to half a day or more, depending on the tissue.

5. Once processing is complete, the blocks are given to an embedder, a person who arranges the tissue and embeds it in paraffin, like this:

The tissue is in that little button that sticks out. On the right is the mold they put it in the make them all uniform

5. Slides are printed for all of the stains that the tissue requires. All specimens that I see at Inform get Hematoxylin and Eosin (H&E) and some get special stains on top of that.

6. The tissue is given to a microtomist for cutting. Microtomy is the ultimate deli slicing. The tissue is cut to a width of 5 microns and laid on the slides, like this:

This part takes special training, obviously. I avoid walking past the microtomists because I walk fast and the gust of wind can mess them up. That is how sensitive these things are. Pity the microtomist with hay fever.

7. Slides are loaded onto various stainers depending on what stain is ordered. A stainer has a mechanical arm that moves the slides through a series of buckets of reagents and dyes. All of the stains are pre-programmed, so we just load them, start them, and wait. Some stains take only 45 minutes, some take 3 hours, it depends on which one. Slides are then given a coverslip to protect the tissue.

8. When the stains come off the stainer, they are then matched up in the computer by case number with their tissue locks to ensure that we have everything that was ordered and that it was done correctly. This is called Matchmaker at Inform, I don't know what other labs do.

9. Blocks are archived, put into storage on case the doctor asks for more slides, and the slides are imaged. Imaging is where the slides are looked at and any areas of interest are highlighted and put into a description that will also go on the final report.


10. Slides are given to distribution and sent to the appropriate pathologist with the report to be read and give a result. That result is sent to the doctor and the doctor gives it to the patient.


And all of this happens in less than two days. Labs generally run all hours of the day, and they are busy places. There are a lot of gaps of waiting for things to finish like the processing and staining, but there's always something going on. There are a lot of people who influence the result of every specimen, and we have to do it with a less than 1% error rate.

So yeah, that's the life of a skin biopsy, or a colon polyp, or whatever you get sent to the lab. I hope you found this interesting and informative. I like my job, so I enjoy talking about it like this. There, you can say you learned something today!

I'm a Bat

Okay, big fat life update because time to blog has not been a thing the past....couple of months. But with good reason!

Work: So I have a new job! I am working as a lab aide at Inform Diagnostics. It's not as gross as my previous job, but still a lot of fun. There's a lot more variation in my day-to-day tasks, and I feel like I'm learning a lot more about lab work in general.

I'm currently working overnight shifts. It's awful. Mad respect for anyone who can handle it. The problem for me is not staying awake at work, it's being able to get adequate sleep on weekends to be able to do social things. I'm exhausted all day and can't sleep at night. Nope. As soon as a day position opens up, I'm out. I have dubbed people who work graveyard shift "bats" and I have joined their ranks. I'm a bat.

What does a lab aide do? A little bit of everything. Print slides, load staining machines and stain the slides, maintain the machines, get cases together to be scanned into the computer before being read, anything else that needs doing. We're the worker bees that do all of the in-between of the big steps that happen between the tissue arriving at the lab and ending up on the pathologist's microscope. Maybe I'll do a blog post on the life of a sample, it's pretty interesting (at least to a nerd like me), and I feel like it's a good thing to be informed what's happening rather than the lab just being that mysterious place that gives results.

Living Situation: I LOVE MY NEW APARTMENT. So, my former roommate, Katherine, is getting married, and I wish her and her fiance all the best. However, that means I no longer have a roommate. If you've followed me for a while, you would know that my apartment has....displeased me in many ways. From the bugs to the lack of decent parking to the fact that I lost heat three times and air conditioning twice, I have HAD IT. So, because I can afford it now that I have a steady income, I looked for an apartment by myself. And boy, did I luck out on this one. I love the floor plan, it's within my budget, and the amenities are reasonable. I'm not near a busy street, so it's nice and quiet, and I'm on the ground floor, which I have never had before.

So, how does one girl with one small car get her stuff moved? She calls friends. I signed my lease on Wednesday, then unloaded my packed car into my new place. Repeat with another carload on Thursday, and another on Friday. Then came the big day.

Let me give you the numbers. Four wonderful friends showed up. We loaded three cars and two trucks to the gills. And we got it all. In. One. Trip. The moving of my stuff could not have gone better. I took everyone who showed up for gourmet pizza afterwards, as is correct. You guys deserve it and I'm so grateful to have people who are willing to help me. Seriously, you guys are great.

My cat, on the other hand, made some trouble. She was crying, so I let her explore a bit and went to go get her food/litter from the car. I came back and she was gone. I looked in every nook and cranny of tgAt small apartment, walked around the outside multiple times, and called for her. The problem with finding Puff is that there is nothing that will tempt her out aside from me. She has no interest in treats or toys, she just wants me. She will come for cuddles and nothing else.

We had looked behind the fridge. Several times. The fridge is black, and Puff is mostly black. We had looked right at her and not seen her! The little twerp nearly gave me a heart attack. But I have her, and she seems to be settling in quite nicely.

All of that stuff is why I haven't had the proper combination of time and energy to blog, but as I get settled, I should stabilize a bit more and be able to update again. Until then, here's pictures of my new place!

I was entirely too excited that my new apartment has a bar. It's small, but I love it

My living room. I haven't gotten a TV yet, and it needs some nice wall art. It's getting there

My glorious kitchen. I have it laid out to maximize the small space and be easily accessible to my short self.

Not the best shot of my bedroom, but that closet is amazing. It's huge, and it holds everything. Including my cosplay.

When I lost my job just a few months ago, I was straight up not having a good time, bit now it's looking up. I may be a bat for now, bout you know what? I'm a happy bat.

When God Closes a Door....

So, there is a reason I haven't posted in a while. My life has been turning up side down and not always in a good way. So, here's the story.

Two weeks ago, on Monday, I walked into work thinking it would just be another normal day. Alas no. This was to be my last time walking in to the job that I had enjoyed so much over the last couple of years. Unknown to me at the time, I had made a major mistake. I had left a specimen that needed to be refrigerated out at room temperature and the required test could not be done. That's not okay. It was an honest mistake, but a large one that can't happen in the medical field. I was fired for it. Talk about a punch to the gut. I turned in my badge, cleaned out my locker, and walked out of the labor the last time with my head high and mascara still intact. My boss was sad to see me go and encouraged me to use her as a reference for my next job. I really feel bad for her having to fire me, especially over a single incident when my record was quite good.

ImI not ashamedato say that I drove home and sat on my bedroom floor in the dark for a couple of hours. I had just lost a job that I loved, can you blame me? I hated myself for making that mistake, it was all my own stupid fault I was in this situation. Would anyone else even hire me after something like this? How long would it take to find a new job? Had I just blacklisted myself from medicine forever?

I called my mom, who assured me that I would find a new job and that any employer would be happy to have someone as good a worker as me. I dug myself out of my pit of shame and texted a few of my friends to tell them what happened. I went for the saddest walk of my llife. Slouching around the cul de sacs in black sweat pants, a black jacket, and sunglasses, I laugh now because I looked like I was probably up to something very illegal. As I walked, my shoulders slowly came back to straight, and my gaze shifted from my feet to in front of me, and I knew what I had to to.

I opened my laptop and updated my resume, then sent that resume to around ten offers from online job boards. I needed to feel like I had done something to move on from my mistake.

Over the next two days, I was not left alone for more than two hours. Remember how I said I texted a few friends? Well, once I explained what happened, they all started checking up on me. It was like an unintentional relay of support. People from different friend groups that had never met would check on me at different times as if they had made a schedule or something. My best friend's reaction was "Do you want me to come make you dinner tonight or tomorrow?" because she knew how not okay I was and that I would need to talk to her in person. I don't know what the heck I did to be surrounded by such amazing people. Seriously, you are all the best. That said, I didn't want to tell everyone because honestly, I needed time to come to terms with my mistake. I felt bad, okay, and I didn't wanna talk about it any more than I already had. So if I didn't tell you, please don't take offense. Trust me, it's not you, it's me.

I set up a few "rules" for myself to make sure that I didn't withdraw. I am a social person, so sitting in my apartment alone would wreck me fast. I made sure to leave lights on until I went to bed, which sounds strange but kept me from sitting in the dark. I kept my phone close and answered messages, connecting me with those wonderful, supportive friends. I took a walk every day. This not only served to get me out of the apartment, it helped me sleep. Not being able to sleep when you're already sad is the worst, so I actively avoided it. A few days after losing my job, my walk was interrupted by a phone call whilst out for a walk. It was one of the places I had applied to, asking me to come in for an interview. I was ecstatic, maybe this was the turning point. I had received a phone interview with another application and was waiting for a response from them. The next morning I was awoken by another phone call to set up yet another interview (Somehow I managed to wake up enough that they didn't seem to notice that I had been dead to the world five minutes ago). I wasn't a failure, I hadn't just ruined my career, I still had a chance!

So I went to my first interview. Now I know it may surprise you, considering my quiet, shy demeanor (If you didn't get the sarcasm, what are you even doing on my blog?), but I interview like a dream. Four years on the speech team were not wasted. I show up dressed to kill and with all of the right answers practiced and ready to go. I could sell ice to an Eskimo, or at least that's what I tell myself. I interviewed well, then waited for the decision. I was relaxing in my apartment several hours later THAT SAME DAY, and my phone rang. It was the lab I had interviewed at, asking if I had any more questions (I had a few ready to go, that's interview tricks 101) and saying that "an offer would likely be forthcoming. Excuse me, WHAT?! When I hung up the phone, I fell to my knees in thanks. From "You're fired" to "Here's our offer" was ten days. Less than two weeks to a new job. How often does that happen?

But I didn't accept the offer right away, I had another interview set up for the next day. I went to this interview much more relaxed than the first one. After all, even if I botched it I still had my other offer. This lab was very much the opposite of the first, being small and close-knit. There were definitely benefits to this kind of environment, but was it what I really wanted? I had a lot to consider.

Honestly, the consideration didn't take as long as I thought it might. I took the first offer. Hey, the bigger companies get big for a reason, they do have a lot to offer as far as career path is concerned. So, I will be starting as a Histology Lab Aide at Inform Diagnostics on April 8th!

The last few weeks of my life can be summarized like in one sentence. When God closes a door, sometimes He slams it on your finger, then He opens another one. I loved my job and I was really happy with it. But this new job is a great opportunity, and to be perfectly honest, is probably going to be better in the long run. It was just not how I would have chosen to come by such a job. The day I walked out of PBM for the last time was one of the worst days of my life. But it looks like there was somewhere else I was supposed to be. So, we'll see where this new job takes me.

And along with the new job, I'm trying a new format for blog posts. I'll still share recipes, but the main focus of the blog will shift to my stories and thought about life. So, I hope you all have a good day and if God has just slammed a door on your finger, I hope you find the one He opens.

Life in Color

You know, you could say a lot of things about me, but I don't think anyone could ever say that Kim Deichmann is boring. I'm always doing something interesting just because I want to or it sounded interesting or something.

I want to clarify first of all that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being "boring." Boring people can live perfectly fulfilled lives and benefit society tremendously. The world NEEDS people of all degrees of interesting-ness (Is that a word? It is now) to function. No one should feel guilty for being a little boring if that's what they truly want. That's just not me, and it's okay.

I have had times in my life where I have fallen into a more boring life and found that those are not the best times for me. I get stir crazy, I need to be learning something or building something or fostering relationships with people. Not that I can't just chill and relax, my relaxation just happens to generally include something either social or intellectual. It's part of why I liked school and to this day continue to learn. Hillsdale (the college I went to for those not in the know) attempts to cultivate this desire for learning as part of every student's education.

So, while what I did this weekend seems active and like a lot of work to some, I actually found it to be a very relaxing weekend that left me ready for another week of my job.

But lemme tell you, it did not start well. On Friday evening, I was having some dinner, a nice salad. I chomped down on a wasabi pea (added for spiciness and crunch), and something gave. That something was not a tasty vegetable with ginger dressing. I have a temporary crown on the tooth that had the root canal a while back. The permanent wouldn't be in for two weeks and I had just broken the temporary right down the middle. On a Friday night. Great. Thankfully, as luck would have it, my dentist is open every other Saturday and this Saturday was one of the open times. I rolled in at 9 am right when they opened and got a new temporary that will HOPEFULLY last until the permanent one is ready. Until then, no more wasabi peas for me.

After that traumatizing ordeal (It's a good thing I'm not afraid of the dentist, or I'd just be a wreck all the time) I got a recommendation from the receptionist for where to go for a good brunch. This place had a nice little table for solo diners with no wait. Very convenient, as this was a weekend morning and the place was busy. I sat down, got some coffee and ordered. As I waited for my banana crunch pancakes, a man a few years older than me sat down and ordered as well. We struck up a conversation, and before I knew it I was talking costume building with a person who does medieval fighting as a hobby. This happens all the time, too. You never know who is doing something amazing behind the scenes. The cashier who check you out at Target? He does special effects at a haunted house. That friendly barista who has your order memorized? She makes money on the side sewing authentic costumes for Civil war reenactments. Artisans and craftsmen are everywhere, in secret, hiding amongst the general population.

That evening, I volunteered at a charity event. It had a circus theme, and I cobbled together an outfit for it. I sold grab bags to donors with carnival-esque flare. This event reminded me of my days in college selling raffle tickets to donors at events, which I was pretty good at. A smile and a tactful approach, and suddenly no one can say no to this face. Or at least that's what I pretend happens. Talking with the other volunteers, I found one who built replicas of weapons from video games and anime as a hobby. Yes, this kind of thing happens all the time. I wan't exaggerating when I said that craftsmen are everywhere.

Finding "my kind of people" is something that adds color to my life and keeps it interesting. My life will never be stagnant as long as I'm always finding more people and things to keep it interesting.

And in that vein, my recipe for this week takes something simple and makes colorful. I offered my coworker's a chance to pick any dessert that I can make for their birthday. This coworker is a man of simple taste and chose chocolate chip cookies. Now, as these are for a birthday, they can't just be ordinary chocolate chip cookies, they must be special. I found a recipe for rainbow chocolate chip cookies and the wheels in my head started turning. He also likes sports, so I covertly found out one of his favorite sports teams, the Dallas Stars. I made a batch of these rainbow chocolate chip cookies in the colors of the Dallas Stars and put star-shaped sprinkles on top.

He loved them and everyone else in the office enjoyed them. They're homemade chocolate chip cookies, who wouldn't? Here's my base recipe:

Rainbow Chocolate Chip Cookies

Sprinkles of Kim:
-I did the Dallas stars colors and put star sprinkles on top, but you could use any colors you like. Sports teams, Hogwarts house colors, colors for the flag of a country, take your pick. I recommend using gel food coloring to really get nice vibrant shades.
-I made the recipe with the ratios of brown to white sugar as written, and it's more of a white sugar taste than I generally like. If you like that brown sugar flavor, I'd say just divide the total amount of sugar 50/50 brown and white.
-Add a dash of cinnamon and thank me later
-If you like a crunchy cookie, bake just a bit longer. I'm a soft cookie person, so I went with roughly the amount of time listed. Or at least I think I did. I don't use timers, I just bake things until they're done. I know, it's weird, but it works.

I hope these cookies can add a little color to your life. I like to keep thing interesting and live a life in color, and I'm glad that I get to share it with you!

Anime Con Life

I went to Ushicon in Austin this weekend and I'm tired, so today's post will probably be kind of lame, deal with it.

A lot of people ask me why I love conventions, and it really is a hard thing to put into words. It's an atmosphere of a lot of people who are excited about things and ready to share that excitement and spend money on it and talk to other people who are excited about things and find other things to be excited about. It's meeting the people behind your favorite things. It's a break from the monotony of everyday life. It's a place to make crazy memories that you'll laugh about later with your new friends.

I can describe a lot of aspects of a convention, like the dealer room, panels, guests, and events, but I can't really describe what is honestly my favorite part of convention life: the community. The best part of con is flopping down next to someone to wait for a panel and discovering that you some of the same things. It's being given the hookup to discounted arcade tokens from the owner whom you met an hour ago. It's almost having a wardrobe malfunction and having three completely random people instantly offer you safety pins, spirit gum, or hairspray to fix it. It's having someone you have never seen in your life tell you how awesome your costume is as you walk by. It's splitting a pizza with people you didn't know existed yesterday, but will remember for a lifetime. It's seeing those people at the next convention and catching up like you were never apart. Does that sound awesome to anyone else? Trust me, it is.

This is my crew chilling out in our hotel room at Ushicon. I love these people.

Another thing that people ask me quite often is that if I'm not entering cosplay contests, what's the point of putting all of that time, money and effort into costumes? That's another hard one. I love it, but it's hard to put into words exactly why. One thing is that it serves as a big neon sign that says "I LIKE THIS THING, TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS THING" so it's an instant icebreaker when meeting new people. I've always been a crafty person, so I do honestly enjoy learning new craft techniques and using them to make things. I guess another way to describe the appeal is this: Have you ever seen a character you like wearing an incredible outfit in a movie, TV show, or game and there's a part of you that just wants to wear it? Like, you want to wear something and look that cool in it? Cosplay is you doing that. Maybe not everyone has that desire, but I do. I want the experience of putting together that outfit and showing my love for the character. To be what I love about them come to life.

Maybe that was helpful, maybe it wasn't. I tried. And much like with my recipes, sometimes when we try, we succeed! So here's a nice, simple recipe that I made and froze so that I would have food for this week without having to spend even more money. It's cheap, takes very little time to put together, and it reminds me of scalloped potatoes and ham, a meal I very much enjoyed as a kid. And who doesn't want a nice soup recipe when it's cold out? This is just a nice one to add to the rotation.

Ham and Potato Corn Chowder

Sprinkles of Kim:

-Honestly, you could make this recipe with whatever vegetables you have lying around. I added mushrooms, but you could also add peas, squash, whatever you like

-I used vegetable broth because I didn't have ham broth and it sounded better than chicken.

I hope my attempt at explaining my con obsession was at least somewhat enlightening. Con life doesn't generally include much sleep, so I'm going to go find the nearest flat surface and go into hibernation.

Mini Waffle Time!

I love my new toy.

So, over Christmas, I ordered a mini waffle maker online. Because they had to wait for a restock and there was something wrong with my order, I didn't get it until last week. I have wanted waffles several times since moving to Texas and been unable to indulge my desire because in a tiny kitchen where space is of the essence, a waffle maker would take up too much space for something that only does one thing. This little gadget, however, is literally smaller than my hand spread out (and I'm a petite woman, my hand span is not big). Aaaaaaaaaaand it comes in pink. This thing was made for me! If this was a product review blog, the *infomercial voice* Dash mini waffle maker would get 9/10. Makes perfect little waffles, doesn't stick, heats up fast, and easy storage. IT's not complicated, no settings, no flipping, just pour and wait. Only drawbacks are 1. it doesn't have an indicator to show when the waffles are done, so you kind of have to use your intuition and 2. it does drip a bit on the counter when you open it, so just set it on a paper towel. Overall, I highly recommend it for people who live alone or with a partner, and people who would like to make tiny waffles with their kid, or just anyone who needs just a little more waffle in their life. These waffles will also freeze and heat up well in the toaster, I am told.

It's so tiny and adorable!

I've used my mini waffle maker probably 4 times in the week and a half I've owned it because I keep getting ideas and I want to try them. I'm sure the novelty will wear off at some point, but for now, it's all waffles, all the time. So, this week's recipe will be my most interesting waffle creation: Cheesy waffle dippers. This was an idea born out of a desire for something cheesy and tomato-y (If that wasn't a word before, it is now), but not having a suitable vehicle on hand to act as pizza crust. The result was this tasty meal that was like a pizza meets a grilled cheese meets a waffle. It was delicious! You could do this with regular waffles as well, since they end up cut into strips anyway. I even made my own sauce because I didn't want to open a huge jar of sauce to only use a few ounces (seriously, why don't they sell small jars of marinara? I don't understand this). Tomato, garlic, Parmesan, Italian herbs, salt and pepper. Blend for a few pulses. Drain off excess liquid. Done.

Here's my waffle recipe:
1/3 cup oats
1/3 cup cottage cheese (or Greek yogurt)
1 egg
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp Italian herb blend
Salt and pepper to taste
Shredded cheese blend of choice
Parmesan cheese
Marinara or dipping sauce of choice

1. Turn on oven broiler to medium or toaster oven to heat up. Blend oats to grind.
2. Add cottage cheese, egg, baking powder, and seasonings to blender and blend until smooth. Let batter stand to thicken for a few minutes.
3. Make waffles according to waffle maker instructions
4. Top waffles with cheese and Parmesan and place on a baking sheet under the broiler for a few minutes to melt the cheese and make the waffles extra crispy. Cut into strips and serve with marinara sauce.

Notes:
-This makes about 4-5 mini waffles and serves one person, multiply to your needs.
-Yes, I am aware that cottage cheese waffles sound weird, but they really are nice and fluffy while being high in protein (I may be an oversized kid, but I do still have to think about nutrients occasionally)

This waffle maker will likely be making another appearance on my blog at some point. I'm having too much fun to not. Currently, I'm gearing up for Ushicon and the sewing bug has bit hard, so I haven't had as much time to cook as I have at other times, but that's life. Update on my sewing and con shenanigans will probably happen in the next post or two. I hope you all have a happy Valentine's Day (I'm a single pringle who is going to con this weekend, so I didn't even think about it until now) and a good week!

Permission to Fail

So.....I took up karaoke.

It all started innocently enough. I went to a bar that was having karaoke and a costume contest on Halloween. I went dressed to the nines and hoping to have some fun. I discovered that this was no ordinary karaoke. This was a live band, allowing for the full rock star experience. I got up and sang some classic Britney Spears (I'm trash, I know), and you know what? It was a blast. I found out that this particular band does karaoke at several bars throughout the week, and now unless I have something else going, Tuesday night is karaoke night. It's a nice way to break up the monotony of the week.

I generally sing a couple songs a night, but I also get to watch other people sing. There are regulars, people just there for a special occasion, all ages, all styles of music, and all levels of talent and training. One thing I noticed watching all these different performers: no one regrets doing karaoke. Even those that have to be dragged onto the stage or can't carry a tune in a bucket don't regret it. They may not wanna do it again, but they're all glad they did it. And I think I know at least part of the reason.

Karaoke is permission to fail.

Everyone expects karaoke to suck. Untrained random people singing songs they may not know very well and possibly battling stage fright are par for the course. Anything above that is a pleasant surprise. And, honestly, there is something freeing in doing something with permission to fail. There is nothing at stake here. No judges to hit buttons, no million-dollar recording contracts, just a bar and people of questionable sobriety who are just as bad as you. Sure you don't gain anything if you're good, but you don't lose anything if you fail either.

I'm a competitive person, I always want to be better, to stand out from the crowd, but karaoke brought to my attention how powerful the permission to fail can be. It shifts the focus from getting the approval of others to how the activity affects you internally. If there is nothing external to affirm you, why are you doing it? Is this honestly something you like? Does it teach you something? Does it help give you a sense of identity or self-awareness? Maybe this is just me overthinking things (as I tend to do), but hey, if anyone else benefits from my ramblings, that's great. If you haven't given yourself permission to fail in a while, find a place to do it, you might be surprised at what you find out. Try something new with almost no risk. you lose very little if you fail, you gain very little if you succeed. You only get what you get from the process without anyone saying that you should or shouldn't be doing it. I know our society values risk taking, but sometimes it's good to step back from that, recharge for the next risk.

Speaking of risk, I really risked failure with these scones. I scaled the recipe by 2/3 (why I put myself through that much math is beyond me), and in the process of making them, I discovered I was low on flour. Greeeeeeat. And the dough was dangerously liquid, so it needed extra flour. I put in what i had and managed to get them onto the baking sheet without turning into little puddles, and baked them. Thankfully they came out fine and were a great treat for my boss' birthday.

Aren't they cute? I found the sprinkles at JoAnn and couldn't resist

So, here's my recipe:

Blackberry Peach Scones

Sprinkles of Kim:

-Obviously I had to use slightly less flour than the recipe called for because I was almost out. Don't do this. It makes the batter have the consistency of taffy. Thankfully, these are a moist, cake-like scone and still taste fine with less flour.

-I used frozen fruit since blackberries and peaches are out of season

-I dyed the glaze purple and added the heart sprinkles to be festive.

Cupcake Goals

I honestly don't know when I got good at baking.

I was never really bad at it, mind you, I had a great teacher (my mom ❤), but there are things that I can make that my mom doesn't really attempt. I don't have a big kitchen or any fancy equipment, in fact most of my stuff is very low-end and my kitchen is super small. People seem impressed when they see what I make despite having so little to work with, and I guess I'm just used to my limitations. I just...do it. I knew I did want to become good eventually, but I didn't really think about it in the moment when I was making my popcorn cookies or my thousandth batch of pancakes. But as I look at these cupcakes I made for a friend's birthday, I realized something. These were made from scratch, not a doctored mix. I made a frosting from a different recipe, and a drizzle on top of that. These cupcakes are perfectly baked and uniform size. They're rich and decadent, but not too sweet. They taste like they came from a bakery. When did I get that good?

Another similar moment happened when I was driving. Dallas traffic is awful, and scared me to death when I first moved to the area. I'm not a particularly good driver, and it just made me so nervous. The lease little unexpected event would give me a heart attack, and I played every lane change overly safe. Everything was a potential worst-case scenario, and it was exhausting. This last week, I was in a traffic jam due to an accident. Great. I was leaning on my elbow, watching my GPS estimate go up in annoyance, when I realized something: I was calm. I was surrounded by cars in stop-and-go traffic, and I was thinking more about how irksome this was than imagining every scenario in which I make this wreck traffic into double wreck traffic. When did this stop bothering me? I'm still not a great driver, but I'm definitely a much more calm and collected one.

In day-to day life, we often don't notice the little bits of progress toward whatever our goal may be, but they are there nonetheless. Sure, there are setbacks. I made some recipes that weren't very good, I had a few (okay maybe more than a few) close calls while driving, but they slowly just got fewer and farther between. I know that a lot of people get very "eyes on the prize" when looking toward their goal, but sometimes that's not the best thing. Sometimes we need to just enjoy the process and take every day as it comes. Then someday that goal may come and we don't even notice it. It's just there.

I'll keep improving my cooking, driving, and everything else I work toward.Setbacks are part of the process and big improvements are part of the process. Take both, and embrace it. Now, enough with the inspirational sunrise quotes, it's time for some CUPCAKES. I offered to make some tasty treat for each of the coworkers in my department (there's only six of us, so not a huge undertaking). I asked what this coworker wanted for hers, and she requested boozy and chocolate. That is definitely something I can get behind. I had had the honey whiskey buttercream recipe for a while, but I wanted a chocolate base rather than the vanilla one from the recipe. Also, this chocolate recipe just sounded delicious. And lemme tell you, the honey whiskey definitely comes through despite the strong chocolate, and it should. I used probably 1 1/4 cups of Jack Daniels in 2 dozen cupcakes between the cakes, the buttercream, and the drizzle. The alcohol is mostly cooked out, but that rich flavor remains. Please eat responsibly 😏.

These beautiful little masterpieces

Here's the recipe I used for the cupcakes:
Whiskey Chocolate Cupcakes

Sprinkles of Kim:
-Dutch process cocoa is the best thing here. If you're unfamiliar with it, it's cocoa powder that's treated differently and has a richer, but less "chocolatey" chocolate flavor, like an Oreo cookie. Hershey's Special Dark cocoa is dutch process, and it plays well with the flavors in this recipe.
-I used honey whiskey and highly recommend it
-To counteract that extra sweetness from the honey whiskey, I under-measured the brown sugar just a bit to ensure the cakes didn't get cloyingly sweet.

And here's the recipe that had the frosting and drizzle:
Honey Whiskey Buttercream and Drizzle

Sprinkles of Kim:
-I didn't measure the ingredients for the frosting, just added until I got a good piping consistency and flavor.
-The recipe for the drizzle makes way more than I could see feasibly using, so I'd recommend halving it
-The drizzle soaked into the cupcakes and made them all moist and delicious, but also a bit sticky and messy to eat (tragic, I know). Plan napkins accordingly.

Whatever your goals are, try to enjoy the process as much as you can, and let the goal come when it comes. Then maybe reward yourself with a cupcake!

Passion and Pancakes

Today, I'm going to tell you a little something about passion.

I am a passionate person, I like a lot of things and I like them a lot. I get really excited about a lot of things from science and technology to cooking and sewing. When I have passion for something, I enjoy talking about it and sharing it with other people. I can ramble for hours about my college research on salamanders, or what in my experience makes the best scones, or how to style a wig that looks straight out of a cartoon. In living as a passionate person, I have discovered something about the general population.

Some people are ashamed to be passionate about things. Or more accurately, people are ashamed to show how passionate they are about some things for fear of seeming boring or strange. I get it, I have been given condescending looks or told "Ugh, are you obsessed with x?" and it sucks because I was just getting excited over something I like. These things left me kind of deflated and feeling like maybe I shouldn't like things so much, or at least not show it.

When I first went to college, I realized I had a bit of a habit for apologizing every time I got "too excited" and saying things like "This must be really boring to you." But the people I chose to surrounds myself with, those who are just as passionate as I am, albeit about different things, told me something that I really value. Never apologize for liking something. And the more I though about it, the more I realized that they were right. I hadn't done anything wrong, what was I apologizing for? I didn't accidentally close a door on someone or arrive late to an event, I just talked about how much I loved raising rabbits. I was observing proper social decorum and not talking over anyone, and the other person was listening. I had committed no offense, yet I was apologizing and worrying that the other person was only feigning interest. What a waste of time and energy!

Now, there is a place for proper social decorum and communicating your passion in the proper context and in a way that engages the other person, but whatever you are passionate about, get it through your head: you are allowed to be passionate about it. Some passions may seem cooler than others, but in talking with other passionate people I have found that it really doesn't matter. If you are getting excited telling me about your collection of baseball jerseys from the 1980's, darn it that's interesting even though I don't share your passion in the least. Please tell me about it, and do so with feeling. I don't know if everyone is like this, but someone simply being excited about something makes me want to listen when they talk about it. So yeah, that's my soap box for the week. Passion, man. Show it, own it, appreciate it.

My recipe this week is another one that indulges a passion of mine: Pancakes. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I LOVE pancakes and I'm all about trying different recipes. This one is my current favorite for several reasons.
1. You make it in the blender, so I can just do it in my Magic Bullet and only have to wash that and the spatula (I am not passionate about washing dishes)
2. It's got a good balance of protein and complex carbohydrates that seems to keep me full longer than some of the other recipes I've tried.
3. They're fluffier than a lot of whole grain pancakes.
4. I generally have everything I need to make these on hand.
5. This recipe is so easy to modify, I've tried it with several different flavors and it works well with all of them.

I was so proud of myself for how pretty these came out. Pretty food tastes better, it's science.

I've made this recipe 4 times , so you'll see some parentheses with variations that I've tried, along with some different flavors at the end.

Ingredients:
-1/2 cup rolled oats (old-fashioned or quick, it doesn't matter, it all gets blended)
-1/4 cup cottage cheese (or Greek yogurt)
-1/4 cup applesauce (or half an overripe banana)
-1 egg (or 2 egg whites)
-1 tsp baking powder
-1/2 tsp cinnamon
-1/2 tsp vanilla
-1-2 T milk
-Dash of salt
Optional: Sugar to taste if you want your pancakes a little sweeter. I like to let my topping do the work when it comes to sweetness, but it's up to you.

Directions:
1. I recommend giving the oats a few seconds in the blender to grind them up before adding everything else in. It helps the thick batter to mix a little better.
2. Add in the rest of your ingredients and blend until you have a nice consistency. Be patient as this is a thick batter and it may take a little extra milk to get blended.
3. Let the batter rest about 5-10 minutes This allows the oats to thicken up (kind of like they do when you cook them) and the baking powder to start working its magic.
4. Make pancakes. You should know how to do this by now if you read my blog. This recipe makes 4-5 pancakes 3-4" in diameter. I recommend keeping them small to ensure they cook evenly. Top with whatever your heart desires and enjoy!

Variations:
-Cinnamon Roll: This is the one pictured because I think it's the prettiest. Double the cinnamon and top with some cream cheese frosting. My frosting is just cream cheese, vanilla, and some stevia with a bit of milk to thin. Put it in a bag, cut the corner, and make the pretty spirals or just spread it on there and make a nice stack.
-Thin Mint: I had just gotten a box of thin mints, sue me. Add 1 1/2 tsp cocoa powder and eliminate the cinnamon. Top with whipped cream and crushed thin mints.
-Lemon Poppyseed: Eliminate cinnamon. 1 tsp poppy seeds, 1/2 tsp lemon flavoring, and a splash of lemon juice. Like a little lemon cake for breakfast.
-Chocolate Espresso with Peanut butter: Eliminate cinnamon. Add 1 1/2 tsp cocoa powder and 1 tsp espresso powder. Top with peanut butter.

I'll probably make a thousand more variations on this recipe because it's so simple and delicious and I am passionate about pancakes! I hope you have something in your life that you get excited over, because if you do, I'd love to hear about it.