Medical Labs Exposed!

I know I've been posting a lot about my job, but I've had this idea in my head for a while and I want to get it out because it's kind of a cool thing. There are things that I learned working in the lab that everyone who works in the lab knows and just accepts as normal that are pretty surprising to those on the outside. These were things that I didn't expect when I first got into lab work, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. I thought it might be fun to share a few of those things, so here we go:

1. If you remember learning any lab procedures in a science class, it's all done by machine. I remember learning about the history of medicine and learning about how samples were taken and stained and looked at under a microscope. I always pictured a bunch of doctors huddled over tables with timers getting every stain in order. Nope. It's actually more similar to an automatic car wash. Load the slides, tell the machine which protocol to do, and a prescribed amount of time later you have perfectly stained slides, all coverslipped and ready to be looked at. We all still need a basic understanding of how the stains work to be able to effectively operate and maintain the stainers, but we don't actually carry out the process.

2. Acronyms, acronyms everywhere. As you have probably guessed, we use medical jargon in the lab all the time. A lot of these words and phrases are really, really long. Ain't nobody got time to say "Hematoxylin and Eosin" a hundred times a shift. Thus we have a ton of acronyms that do sound kind of funny if you don't know what they're referring to. The fact that I understand the sentence "This DS case came from the PA this morning and needs to be given to IHC for an HP and then QC'ed, but after that the blocks can be BAP'ed." is kind of interesting to me. I guess every career has its lingo, but it can be kind of strange to hear it from the outside.

3. Every machine has a name. No, not just a brand name or a number, but an honest-to-goodness "people" name. We have multiple machines of the same model and we need to be able to differentiate them. They may move to different parts of the lab, so numbers don't make sense because they would need to stay in order and it would be confusing if we get rid of one. So we give them names so everyone knows which machine we're talking about. And at every lab I've seen, the machine names fall into several subtypes. Sports players, classic movie characters, and cartoon characters. And we refer to them by those names with a straight face every day. My personal favorites at my current job are the special stainers names after characters from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Loading slides onto Donatello then getting more bluing reagent for Splinter is something that happens regularly. So, when you get your results from a blood test or biopsy, know that your results may have come from a machine named Scarlett O'Hara or Daffy Duck.

4. Color is everywhere. At the lab where I work, I had to take a color blindness test when I was hired. It makes sense when you see how vital different colors are to my job. Different colored blocks and slides dictate the order in which we do things or which client they came from. The stains turn the tissue different colors to make it possible to differentiate atypical cells. Knowing what each color means is absolutely vital to what we do. Color makes it possible to tell at a distance what priority those slides are and whether they need to be put with this client or that one. It's like a traffic light. Simple, but very effective.

5. This is probably not a thing at smaller labs, but at a lab with a lot of machines, there is ALWAYS one making noise for attention from someone. A significant part of my job is attending to these various beeps and alarms like I'm running a very expensive day-care. I have literally heard these alarms in my dreams after a long day. You know how parents can hear their child's specific cry in a room of screaming babies? That's how lab aides are with the machines they are assigned to. We can hear a processor go off across the lab or ignore the coverslipper right next to us depending on whose responsibility it is.

6. The potential for things to get messed up is pretty insane, so everyone has to be very detail-oriented. I guess anyone would hope that handling diagnoses would be detailed, but the standard is essentially perfection. We want every patient to get an accurate answer in a timely manner. Part of the reason teach case goes through so many hands is because each one serves as a quality check to make sure it's being done correctly. One block lost can mean no result of it's not detected. If two slides are sent to different departments and not returned to each other, that delays results for no reason. Everyone in the lab has to communicate before small oversights become crises.

Part of why I like doing posts like this is because a lot of medicine is shrouded in this fog of confidentiality and jargon that many people distrust. It does feel impersonal to have a bit of your body sent away and just have results magically appear. So I want to shed a little bit of light on what goes on inside the secured buildings behind badge-locked doors. The people in the lab are human too, and someday they may need a result like the ones they process every day. I'm not saying that there aren't dishonest people and people who don't care, but it's important to remember that at the end of the day, people who work in labs do still care about patients, just in a different way. Trust me, I am not the person you want to squeeze your hand when you're getting a bone marrow biopsy, but when three processors are going off at once, that's when you want me. There is so much more to medicine that the average person just doesn't see, and I'm so happy that I have the privilege to work in this amazing field. Okay, enough sap. It's almost my birthday, I have a party to plan!

On Being a Princess

If you've seen my Facebook over the last few weeks, you may have noticed that my pictures have taken on a certain...royal quality. Okay, I've been plastering my Ariel cosplay over every possible social media platform because I love it. Anyone not in the know about the cosplay world might have a few questions about this costume and what it's like to wear it. In this post, I'm going to answer them because I want to inform people about my strange and wonderful hobby. And mostly, I want to gush about my love of cosplay and how I'm living out a childhood dream.

Did you make it?

Yes, yes I did. That pink and white silk monstrosity was naught but a pile of fabric last January. Disney princesses are a very popular choice for cosplayers, so it was easy to find another Ariel online who had posted recommendations for pattern and modifications. I did buy the lower sleeve bits. I was lucky enough to find them on Amazon in a fabric that stretches. I like being able to bend my arms, thank you very much. I also bought the hoop skirt because I do not have the patience to mess with that. The wig was actually pretty easy to style. Again, other cosplayers had tutorials and enough hairspray will fix anything. I am currently ignoring the fact that it got really tangled from being worn for two days and really needs to be washed and combed.

How long did it take?

Not as long s I thought. I thought it would be at least six months of work, turned out it only took about three. Now, that's on and off work. An hour here, and hour there, maybe an afternoon on weekends. The cutting of all of the fabric took about 5-6 hours, and I did have to make an emergency run to the store for more boning at one point, but it honestly came together fairly quickly. Pro tip: when doing a big project, start with the hardest piece. When I finished the bodice, with its lining and boning and zipper, the skirts were a snap.

How much did it cost?

*laughs, degenerates to tears*.....Actually not near as much as it could have. I found a resource for large swaths of fabric for super low prices. Fabric Wholesale Direct saved my life. I was looking at Joann's all over DFW and couldn't find a place that had enough fabric in the color I wanted at a price I could afford. I resorted to looking online and was not disappointed. The wig was obtained on a Valentine's day sale from Arda Wigs, so it was cheaper than it could have been. I just used a pair of shoes that I had, so that was no cost. Here's my cost breakdown:

Fabric: $45

Notions: $50 (estimate)

Wig: $40

Hoops: $16

Sleeves: $10

Total: $166 *cash register sound*

Isn't that hot?
Yes, but not as bad as you'd think. Those hoops allow for a lot of air circulation, so the only parts that really get heavy are the bodice and wig (you'd be amazed how much a thick wig smothers your neck and shoulders). I didn't really have a problem wearing it all day as long as I made sure to not stay in the sun very long.

How do you go to the bathroom?
*laughs bitterly* you don't. Okay, you wait as long as possible and then try to find a handicap stall. When your outfit is literally larger than a standard bathroom stall, options are limited. I try to find less busy bathrooms so that those who are actually disabled can use the big stalls, but I can only do so much.

Do you get stopped a lot for pictures?
EVERY TEN STEPS AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. Seriously, a lot of people have this idea that they are bothering me when they ask for a picture, but unless I am actively doing something that is hard to interrupt (eating, talking on the phone, etc.), I LIVE for this. Please ask for a picture and let me pose, you don't have to awkwardly sneak a pic. If your kid wants a picture with the pretty princess, absolutely take one with me! Anyone who cosplays a Disney character knows that they are  going to get attention from kids, so we're generally not the type to be like "ugh, children, how gross." I adore seeing them light up and get excited at seeing their favorite characters come to life. I even let them hold the dinglehopper. My costume is made to be worn all day at con and is all washable, so even an errant hand print isn't really a problem My Ariel isn't the best cosplay out there, or even necessarily the best Ariel, but I'm really proud of it and i love sharing it.

Do you do parties or other events?
I'm not currently affiliated with any professional agencies, but if you have an event and would like a princess, feel free to shoot me a message. I made this costume, darn it, and I'll take any chance to wear it. I don't have any fancy training, but I'll read a story, take some pictures, be a bubbly happy princess for charity or a birthday or a church event.

I was definitely one of those girls who wanted to be a princess, and mostly for the poofy dresses and magic. It may not be as impressive as talking to animals or growing a tail, but bringing joy to those around me is its own kind of magic, and I can't wait to do it again and again.