I'm smart.
I'm also not sarcastic. Nope, not me. Neverrrrr.
Look, I know it sounds narcissistic to just say it outright like that, but it would be disingenuous to pretend that I don't know that by school standards, I am above average. It's a trait, it's like saying I have curly hair or enjoy the taste of coffee.
Growing up, I was always "The Smart One." If you were to ask anyone to describe Kim, they would say "smart" within the first five words. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's certainly nothing wrong with being smart, and nothing wrong with having that reputation. But something I learned in college that I want to share is a concept that I have dubbed "Smart And..."
I don't want this to sound like a big ad for Hillsdale, but if you make it in, it's pretty much assumed that you are smart. Everyone is at least fairly book smart, it's the baseline. This creates an environment where you can't lean on being smart to define yourself. That would be like leaning on breathing as your big selling point. Everyone does it, whoop-de-do, what else you got? So you're smart.....what else you got?
Something that I appreciated about the friend group I ended up with was that suddenly I wasn't "The Smart One" anymore. I was able to really look at what else I could be. My "And.."
The people around me were able to recognize my "and" and point it out to me in ways that I didn't really think of at the time, but that helped shape my perception of myself in a good way. Their reactions to my sense of humor, fashion, and interests helped me realize that I didn't have to be The Smart One. I had never thought of myself as a fashionable person until people started pointing out that I did have a distinctive, interesting style, it's just not what you would see in a glamour magazine. I had quite honestly never thought of myself as particularly artistic (outside of performing arts) until my friends encouraged me to rediscover that I did really enjoy drawing and painting. They saw and valued things in me that I that never really considered as anything worth noting.
What I'm kind of getting at is that they didn't just settle for seeing the most obvious traits. They took an interest in me and wanted to know what lies past that first and even second impression. It really helped me to develop as a person and stop defining myself as the smart one. I'm still smart, but I'm also sharp-witted, lover of all things cartoon, queen of accessories, a good cook. And I am allowed to be all of those things at once. I don't have to have one shtick all the time, I don't have to be "The____ One" I can just be Kim, and that's something I value.
Not that I felt any particular pressure to fill my "The Smart One" role when I was younger, but there were times I felt like people just kind of saw that I was smart and never felt the need to look for more. And I never asked for more because I didn't really see myself as much more. I had my role; I didn't ask anything else of myself and no one asked anything more of me. Maybe that's something everyone goes through to some degree as they mature, but Hillsdale is the only place I have seen so many smart people who care so much about the "And..."
Obviously, no one has the energy to try and look deeper into every single person they interact with, but there really is value in going beyond the obvious for those you care about or wish to know better. And there is definitely value in looking into you own "And..." to maybe cultivate some of those less prominent characteristics that bring you or those around you some joy.
I don't know how much sense this makes to people who aren't me, but I really wanted to share the concept of the "And..." with my readers. I feel that it's something everyone should be aware of. No one trait should define a person's identity, it's like holding up the Parthenon with one pillar. If something happens to that pillar, the structure collapses. People should change over time, and every one of those changes shouldn't have to cause a full-blown identity crisis. Swapping from one stereotype to another is no way to live a life. Finding your "And..." is a big step along the way to an awareness of who you are as a person, good, bad, and ugly. No matter what your "And..." may be, embrace it and maybe along the way, you'll help someone else find theirs.
