The Quarantine Quest for Quarters

So, during this lockdown, a lot of people are discovering difficulties that they never really thought would be a problem. If someone had told me a year ago that I would go over one month seeing only two of my friends, I would ask what desert island we were shipwrecked on. I can't go to the dentist, I can't get my hair cut, I can't go swimming, and it took me four weeks to find toilet paper in a store. THIS IS A WEIRD TIME, PEOPLE.

An unexpected problem has arisen since the quarantine: shortage of quarters. My apartment complex has shut down all community services save for laundry (thank goodness). The laundry machines do not take cards and require quarters. The laundry room has no change dispenser. This is a gross oversight on the part of management in my opinion, but I'm not in charge here. 

Normally, when I need quarters, I go to a random local bank, walk in and ask them to exchange a $20 bill for a couple rolls of quarters. Yes, you can do that without an account as long as it's not a ton of quarters and not very often. I don't like cleaning out registers at stores, and especially during the quarantine I don't want to put more stress on the clerks. So, at the beginning of lockdown I had some quarters in my supply that I used for laundry. And then I ran out. And the banks are all closed so I can't just walk in and get more. And then my quest began.

My quest began with my partaking in he activity that everyone is currently doing: nothing. I simply didn't do my laundry for as long as I possibly could in the hopes that this stupid virus would get under control enough for bank lobbies to reopen safely. Well, that clearly hasn't happened. And Mt. Laundry was growing.

So, when I went to money services at the grocery store get a money order to pay my rent, I asked the clerk for some quarters. I was able to get enough quarters to do the laundry I had, but as previously stated, I don't like doing that. I had delayed the problem for a while. But the problem with clothes is that we wear them all the time and I only have a finite amount, so of course I started to run out again. There is something inherently frustrating about having the money for something, but being unable to pay for it because your money is in the wrong form. I needed a steady supply of quarters, preferably from a mechanical source so that I'm not making a clerk handle money (which, as we all know, is super germy). I needed a bill changer. Now, where can I find a bill changer in our modern money-less society?

Laundry room? Doesn't have one.

Arcade? Closed.

Vending machines at work? Only take singles, and I don't have any.

Car wash?.....now there's an idea.

No people, plenty of quarters for the taking, and open at all hours, so I can go whenever I want. Perfect.

I remembered that there was a car wash that I passed on my way to work every day. So, I pulled up and started fiddling with the machine. I put in my money and tried to ask for change. Aaaaaaaaaaaand I discovered that it doesn't do change. I had to ask the attendant for a refund because I was not about to be late for work going through a car wash I didn't need. Well, I just made a total fool of myself and it's not even 9am.

Then next day I went for my weekly grocery run and I found another car wash along my route. This time I drove around it looking for a machine. I saw none, and got some funny looks for driving a few laps around and leaving. I will get these dang quarters, no matter how stupid I look while doing it. Mt. Laundry must be conquered!

As I was on one of my daily walks, I took a different route than usual, because I, like everyone else in quarantine, was bored. And I saw it. Another car wash in a direction I don't normally drive. It was across a fairly wide street, so I couldn't see if it had a change machine, but it was there, and it was possible. I didn't have my wallet with me anyway, so there was no point in crossing the street to check.

The next day, I drove up and saw it. A good old-fashioned quarter dispenser. I shoved my $5 into the slot. And nothing happened. It didn't take my bill. The machine must be broken. Or out of coins. I don't know. Dejected, I got back into my car and started to drive away. and I saw another one on the other side of the car wash. A junky, weathered coin dispenser with peeling stickers. I shoved my $5 bill into the slot and was rewarded with the sweet, sweet sound of quarters dropping into the hopper. I had found my new quarter supplier. Mt. Laundry is no more.

I hope you enjoyed this lighthearted and probably over-dramatic take on my silly problem and the lengths to which I went in solving it. Stay safe and try to stay sane, my friends. And do your laundry!

The Last Will and Testament of an Extrovert in Quarantine

I, Kim Deichmann, resident of the city of Irving, Texas, being of sound mind (okay, by legal definition), not acting under duress or undue influence (seriously, this is how I act all the time), fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property (whatever could be crammed into my little apartment) and of this disposition thereof do hereby make, publish, and declare this blog post to be my (satirical) Last Will and Testament.

I direct that all expenses of my final illness, be it COVID19, loneliness, or actual death by boredom, and expenses of my funeral (which will be live streamed) and burial be paid as soon as is reasonably convenient, and I hereby authorize my Personal Representative to settle any claims against my estate.

In my departure, provisions must be made for my dear cat. Puff is to be taken care of by any friend who will have her, until she also departs and will be buried on top of my remains, so that she may rest where she lived the majority of her life.

I fear I do not have long left in this world. The threat of COVID19 has left me with no social events and limited access to even my closest friends. In recent days, even my coworkers have become sparse due to reduced staffing. I suffer from a condition that makes this situation a grave one. I am an extrovert. I draw energy from social interaction. And, deprived of that vital source of energy, I am slowly withering away. My limbs grow weak and frail, I can barely lift my fingers to type these words. As my mind starts to slip away, my parting thoughts are of great irony. In a time of such illness and crisis, it is not the dreaded virus that pulls the final curtain, but the measures needed to protect society. I hope only that more extroverts will not fall as I have. We are many, so who knows the true extent of the damage.

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Okay, okay, I was being dramatic, calm down. I make jokes (and sometimes very dark ones) because if I don't laugh, then I must cry. It's just how I deal with a situation beyond my control. Although to be perfectly honest, I'm actually doing quite well. I have two friends who live in my apartment complex whom I have designated as "family" and they are pretty much the only people I see in person outside of work.

Speaking of work, I work in a medical laboratory, so this pandemic affects my daily life more than the average person. The lab I work at doesn't do COVID19 tests (yet), but we still have to stay on top of how quarantine affects healthcare fields. We're considered essential and our work cannot be done remotely, so I still go into work, but not every day. We split the staff into two shifts and work on opposite days, so I only work three days per week, ten hours per day. The company makes up the difference in pay, which is a huge blessing in a time when a lot of places are cutting staff. I have a letter in my car stating my position as an essential worker in case the authorities start questioning people for being out (hasn't happened yet, but it could). That letter is such a piece of history that I'm keeping it as a relic of this moment in time.

Never have I been so grateful for electronic communication. I have been able to keep in contact with most of my friends and family to keep from going stir crazy. Everyone has time for long conversations, that's for sure! I wander around my complex (at a responsible distance) while I talk, and I'm pretty sure you could make a game of counting how many times I pass any one apartment.

My creative hobbies have obviously been used quite a bit in this quarantine. I have literally gotten scared that I'll run out of stuff to do and bought a few future projects' worth of stuff. Other people buy huge amounts of toilet paper and bread, I buy three costumes' worth of fabric and thread. Speaking of which, now is the time to try and learn something new! Order some stuff online and watch some YouTube videos, you've finally got the time. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my sewing to keep me busy. And let's I'mnot forget my love of cooking and baking. keeping a list of all of the new recipes I've tried since lockdown (I'm literally making like, three new things per week) and I'll post it when quarantine is up just for fun.

My only venture out besides groceries and work was on Easter Sunday, when I joined a friend and her parents for Easter dinner. I wanted to contribute something, so I made a hummingbird cake. It's made with bananas, pineapple, and pecans and covered in cream cheese frosting. I think it's one of the best things I've made during the lockdown! I got creative with the pecans on top, like I do.

If you want a rich, Easter-y dessert that is a little something different from the traditional carrot cake, this is your ticket. Everyone really enjoyed it and I was so blessed to be able to share in the celebration of the Resurrection with even a small group of people. Jesus rose from the dead, and that's worth celebrating even if we can't be all together.

I'm still here, still making stupid jokes and baked goods, and who knows where we'll all be tomorrow. I hope everyone is doing their best to stay both physically and mentally healthy during this pandemic. See you next post.

Top 10 Things to do While Stuck in Quarantine

If you're stuck at home because of COVID19 raise your hand!

Now put your hand down, you look silly.

My hand was not raised during that because I work in a medical laboratory. We do routine stuff, so we haven't been swamped. Quite the opposite in fact. No one wants to leave the house, much less go to a doctor's office for a regular pap smear. But specimens are still trickling in, and they aren't going to process themselves. Everyone whose job can be done remotely is working from home, but lab operations people are still working, armed with hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes.

Before I complain, I would like to say that I am so grateful that my livelihood is not in jeopardy due to this obnoxious little microbe. I know people who have lost a huge chunk of income due to cancelled events and closings. If I get sick, my company has offered extra sick days, I can afford the supplies needed to properly quarantine, and I have no fear of not being able to pay rent because of this. I am also grateful that I am blessed with a healthy immune system, so if I get sick, I'll more than likely be okay. I just have the social duty to not infect anyone in a high-risk group, which means avoiding contact with anyone besides other twentysomethings with healthy immune systems.

That said I AM NOT PLEASED WITH THIS SITUATION. Some plans I had made to visit Austin and go to a Renaissance faire have been completely cancelled. A friend's wedding might be in jeopardy. I, a textbook extrovert, am being told to stay away from people. Work is boring because we aren't getting enough specimens to keep busy and haven't been offered to go home with pay (yet). Everyone is tense and suspicious. It's awful.

So, in the spirit of trying to find the bright side to all of this, I compiled a list of things to do if you are stuck at home with nothing but your hoard of supplies to keep you company.

10. Build a water bottle fort. With all of the people I saw buying bottled water, I can only assume that they were planning something like this. Seriously, did you all forget that faucets and Brita filters exist? At least you can now build a sweet fort to hide in and hiss at anyone who dares knock on the door of Fort CovidBeGone.

9. Book a trip for when you will (hopefully) be out of quarantine. Travel has never been cheaper, and the pandemic can't last that long, right? RIGHT!?!?!

8. TP your own house with that 64-pack of toilet paper that you got at Costco. It was a hard battle fought with shopping carts and broom handles, but you have prevailed and now have enough two-ply to keep your hiney Charmin shiny until Christmas. But in your haste, you did not realize that you had no place to store such a hoard, so you might as well use it as decoration for your middle-class prison. Plus, the clean-up will take up even more time!

7. Read all of the COVID19 conspiracy theories. Which one will you believe? The one about it being released on purpose by China to take down America? The one about the CDC inflating numbers so the government can seize power? Is this all a distraction for the humans so our reptilian overlords can finally start their final invasion? Or is that what They want us to think? Time to wake up, sheeple!

6. Clean and disinfect your whole house. As if you weren't already planning on it. Think of it as a very...agressive spring cleaning.

5. Order Chinese takeout. Asian-owned businesses have been hit disproportionately hard by the pandemic, so that $5.99 bowl of Kung Pao from Happy Panda is in the name of helping your fellow man! And the sodium content will go perfectly with your salty attitude over having all your fun cancelled.

4. Find creative uses for all of the dry goods you panic-bought. You have way more of this stuff than you will ever eat. Do you even like some of these things? What even is amaranth and why do you suddenly have three pounds of it? Who knows. But never fear! These dry goods have more uses than just feeding your face! Remember those pasta and bean portraits you made in elementary school? Well you have a whole rainbow of lentils and every shape of pasta known to man, so it's time to find your lost calling as an artist. Layer different colors of grains and legumes in Mason jars and be the next big thing on Pinterest. Use bits of pasta as chess pieces and play a game against yourself....and lose. And at the end of the day, fill a sock with rice, heat it up in the microwave, and use it to soothe the crick you developed in your neck from hunching over your great art all day.

3. Write a memoir of this historic time. You ever feel like you're living in a moment of great historical significance? Well, anyone who's lived through 2016 should (now THAT was one heck of a year). The world is currently so insane that you're starting to check for glitches in the Matrix. Write down your thoughts and feelings on this momentous occasion, so that in a few hundred years, when historians find all of those memoirs, they will discover....that there were a lot of very bored people with immaculately clean bottoms.

2. Cower in fear of our new microbial overlords. If something that is unlikely to kill has this much power, what if it mutates? What if we can't stop it? What if this is the beginning of the apocalypse that will leave humans enslaved by some new supervirus? You can do nothing but cower, so that's what you do.
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And the number 1 thing to do when you are stuck in COVID19 quarantine is...

1. Write a blog post about how bored you are while stuck in quarantine. Did I mention I'M BORED? Because I am. I literally came up with the idea for this post while sitting around at work, bored out of my mind because I have no work to do. I'm grateful that I have the privilege of being bored rather than sick or worried for my future, but I still hate being bored.

I hope I at least could make you laugh with all of my nonsense in this trying time. Remember to rest,eat plants, wash your hands, and stay home if you get sick. But remember, social distancing doesn't mean social isolation. Stay in contact with those you care about in any way you can. Take care of your mental and emotional needs just as much as your physical. Now, I've got a cosplay to work on (don't I always) and some Netflix to binge.

A Lesson From the Convention Floor

So, as you may have seen, I was able to attend Katsucon this year. IT WAS AWESOME. I always have fun at con, and this was no exception. The highlight of this con was definitely the cosplay. It was on a whole different level. The amount of creativity and craftsmanship was unreal. You can check out the pictures I posted, but there were literally thousands of talented, incredible people all gathered there. I could never photograph them all.

Look. At. All. The. Princesses. The amount of fabric in this picture would need to be measured in miles.

This convention brought out one of my general rules for life: always take the opportunity to say something nice. If you see something really well-done or impressive, go ahead and tell the craftsman that you appreciate their work.

When I try to describe what makes convention life special, it's kind of hard to describe this idea. The convention floor is one of the few places I have ever seen where it is understood that running up to some total stranger and telling them how awesome they are is totally acceptable behavior. You ever get a random compliment from a stranger and it just makes your day? Conventions have a lot of that. And I like to bring a little of that mentality to the "real" world.

Now, I'm not saying to just go out and tell every random thing you like about everyone. That's generally considered kind of creepy. But if your coworker is really killing it at a difficult part of their job, let them know. Or if the salesclerk at the grocery store has a really cool hair style, maybe say you like it. Be that random stranger and make someone's day. We have no idea the effect we can have with a kind word.

Have I ever had any real effect with my random acts of positivity? I have no idea. And I will never know this side of heaven. But at least there's a chance I've done some good. And I'd like to put that idea into the minds of my readers. Maybe the world could stand to be a little more like the convention floor.

I'm so grateful for the random acts of positivity that other people have given. They may never know it, but they've given me the desire to keep paying it forward. This is a lesson I learned on the convention floor, but I try to carry it through my daily life as well. I encourage my readers to do the same.

Never miss a chance to say something positive.

Thank you for reading. You're pretty cool.

New Job!

Obligatory new job post!

So, I am now working as a cytology processing tech at Avero Diagnostics. And get this, I can actually sum up what I do in one sentence: I process pap smears. Simple, right? actually, it's got a lot of different steps, so it's still kind of complicated, but at least people understand what I mean when I say it. Basically, I take what comes from the doctor's office and do all of the steps to make it a slide that a pathologist can read.

This company is much smaller than the last one I worked for, which is not a bad thing. The work pace isn't frantic, and I enjoy the people I work with. The pay and benefits are significantly better, so overall, this was a very positive move for me. This job feels sustainable, which is what I was looking for. And now on to what I can do with all this extra energy now that I'm not putting out fires at work constantly!

So, if you've seen my Facebook, you know that I've finished my Ms Frizzle cosplay and got to use it for a book fair at my church. I love that. I literally make these things for fun and am always looking for excuses to wear them. I put a lot of time and effort into my costumes, and darn it I want to get some use! If I can make one other person happy or give them a good memory, that's enough for me. It was kind of funny seeing the various age demographics that recognized it. Most were either people around my age who remember the show, or kids with parents who have excellent taste in cartoons. And babies LOVE the bright colors.

This cosplay has awakened many a childhood

As usual, when I get close to finishing one cosplay, my fingers start to itch for the next one. It's a serious problem, I had a hard time stopping myself from starting on Ms. Frizzle until I moved to my new apartment. Up next, I'm making a dress to wear to a Renaissance Faire in April. Pictures will go up when that is finished.

This last year has been....well, a lot. there have been some serious negatives, like losing my job and the hellscape that was my life on third shift. But there have been some major positives, like moving to a new place and learning at my new jobs. I'm glad to say that I"m in a very good place right now, and just in time for Katsucon. Will my next post be con-related? Probably. Hey, this blog is about my life, and conventions are a big part of that. But for now, I'll leave this post mainly about my job. Kim out.

Burn the Ships

I have a new job!

This might come as a bolt from the blue to some people, but trust me, I've had this on my mind for a while. I've had this nagging feeling since about November that while my job is fine for now, it's not a company I want to be with long term.

It would be in poor taste for me to use this platform to rant about every little thing I don't like about my job, but i do have a couple of big reasons. One being that the advancement opportunities that I was told would be available are not near as common as I was led to believe. The second being that I felt like I was constantly putting out fires because of inefficient workflow management instead of being proactive to provide the best. I can do that for a while, but it was wearing on me. The company was just not what i needed in a long term job. I knew that there must be a better fit out there.

Over Christmas, I started shooting applications to other labs to see what was out there. Sure enough, within a couple weeks, I got a response. Not only did they want an interview, they wanted to interview me for two positions because of my qualifications.

The interview went well. As I mentioned in my last post, I slay at job interviews. Usually, if I can land an interview, I get a job offer. As I was escorted out, I was told that they had a few other people to interview and that I would hear from them in the next couple of days. I walked out feeling good, hopped into my little Sentra, and heard a song on the radio that hasn't left my head since. "Burn the Ships" by For King and Country. The metaphor comes from when Captain Hernán Cortés landed in Veracruz to conquer it. He ordered his men to burn the ships so they couldn't go back, they had to take the land. I'm not a huge fan of the whole conquest thing, but the metaphor is useful. Burn the Ships, no going back, into the unknown. It's also a good song.

The interview ended at 8:30. I took a break at work around noon and pulled out my phone to see an email from the place I had interviewed at. An email with an offer. In four hours. The door could barely have closed behind me before they decided they wanted me. I now had a decision to make.

I do like my current job. My coworkers are wonderful and I do like a lot of the tasks I do every day. I make enough money to live quite happily and I like my working hours. The company is trying to improve and major workflow changes are coming. Maybe that will make this place better than my new offer. I could stay with this known quantity. My ship.

I told my manager I had an offer that I was considering, as a courtesy. I like my manager, and didn't want to completely blindside everyone. It was hard to work because my mind kept going back and forth, weighing the pros and cons, wondering if something better was out there and I should wait. When I got home, I do what I always do when I have a lot on my mind.

External processing. It's where I talk it all out to someone and they tell me to do what I already want to do, I just need to make sure there isn't something else I should consider. Who is on the receiving end of this depends on the exact situation. This one was a job for my mom. So I called my mom and gave her the verbal equivalent of a wall of text detailing my feelings on my current job and the offer. She ended saying that I knew what I needed to do. Yeah, it's true. Mother knows best.

"Burn the ships, cut the ties,"

I accepted the offer. It was time to draft a letter of resignation. I waited to hand it in until Friday, so that my two weeks would end on the last day of January, and the new job would start right at the beginning of February. Nice and neat. But man, walking into the supervisors office with that letter was ten times harder than walking into the interview. It was my point of no return. Once this is in, the countdown begins.

"Send a flare into the night,"

I handed in my letter and started telling my coworkers. There were two general reactions from two different ilks of people. The ones at the bottom of the totem pole with me were excited to see me moving to something better, and some even asked where I had applied because they were thinking of leaving too. Those higher up in the company, who didn't have the stressful, frantic workflow generally were like "You're leaving? Why?" To be fair, I'm a cheerful person and don't complain often, so it wasn't obvious that I wanted something more. I had a couple of people say that they were sad to see me go because I was good at my job and they liked working with me more than most of my coworkers. But I knew that I must go.

"Say a prayer, turn the tide,"

My second to last week has given me opportunity to use my exit in a positive way. The lab hired a new manager that whipped another lab into shape, so maybe he can rework our lab to make it more efficient. He had round table meetings with everyone who works in the lab to see what is happening vs. what corporate has told him is happening.

My round table was great because is was able to say all of the things I think the company could improve to someone who can do something about it. And because I'm almost out, there could be no negative repercussions! Not that I was planning on staying anything too crazy, it was just nice to know that there wouldn't be simmering resentment to deal with. I like my coworkers, so I wanted to leave them with the best chance for a better situation than the one that made me quit.

"Dry your tears and wave goodbye"

I have struck the match and the ships are burning, I'm going into my last week, then I start my new job! My next post will hopefully be about my new work, so stay tuned. And if you know it's time for you to burn some ships and take that first step into the unknown, do it. You can't explore the new world of you stay in the ship.

"Step into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away
We can dance upon our heartache, yeah
So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships
And don't you look back"

Lyrics: "Burn the Ships" by For King and Country

10 years? Really?

Welcome to the new decade, my friends. Not that it means a ton from a scientific perspective, we just made a few more laps around the little star we call the sun. But culturally? Ten years is actually pretty significant.

My tenth birthday was the first time I was allowed to have a huge slumber party. I invited all of the girls in my class (which sounds like a lot until you remember that in my class that was like 9 total), we played games, I got tons of presents, it was  my favorite childhood birthday party in memory

For ten years of my life, I was in 4-H. Some of the stuff I did for that program was STUPID and I DIDN'T WANNA. But other things were really fun and I have fond memories of things like modeling and showing rabbits. And still other things seemed incredibly annoying and dumb at the time, bit I'm glad I learned them. The Favorite Food Revue taught me about table setting and menu planning, which is something I encounter all the time now. I had NO patience for some of the things that I sewed (my mother can vouch, I have no idea how she had the patience for my nonsense), but without that, I would have way more difficulty making the cosplays that I love so much. Overall, 4-H was time definitely not wasted.

Ten years ago, I was preparing for my first speech meet. Some of my favorite high school memories are centered around speech practice and meets. I was able to bond with my friends and discovered that I love to make people laugh. Plus,And I wasn't half bad at it, and I've got the medals to prove it. Additionally, I learned skills that have been tremendously helpful since then. In college, presentations were so much less stressful for me than they could have been. I knew how to articulate an idea in a way that people actually wanted to hear. In an environment where Ii had to carefully divide my mental energy between projects, not having to expend much on delivering presentations was a lifesaver. I never would have gained that skill had it not been for those winter days spent having my delivery picked apart over and over.

Beyond college, my years on the speech team have given me confidence in interviews. Sure, it's still heart-pounding, but I can bring back a little of that overconfident teenager who can sell a lighter to a dragon (hey, I still like to make people laugh). Speech taught me things that have shaped my personality. It has become a part of my identity that I am a public speaker. And you know what? I've been a public speaker for ten years.

 Speech queen

Job interview queen

Ten years is kind of the default for "a long time." It's a nice, round number and it feels like forever when you're living it.

When I was in college, I started encountering a mentality that we all develop to some degree: that it's too late to start something new. It's an easy thing to fall into when you pick up sheet music for the first time while surrounded by those who read music when they could barely read words. It seems like you're behind, that you have to "catch up" to everyone else. It seems so insurmountable, what's the point? As I get older, I see that more and more. It feels like we've missed the boat on learning new things.

But consider this: if you start learning that thing, by 2030, you'll have done it for ten years! And that's nothing to sneeze at. Take up an instrument, learn a language, get the education you've always wanted. Ten years is a long time to be able to enjoy something. And what better time than a fresh, new decade to pick up something you will enjoy for the next ten years?

I hope you're encouraged by the prospect of a new decade and it's possibilities. I'm choosing to be positive about it, so here's to another decade of adventure!