The Quarantine Quest for Quarters

So, during this lockdown, a lot of people are discovering difficulties that they never really thought would be a problem. If someone had told me a year ago that I would go over one month seeing only two of my friends, I would ask what desert island we were shipwrecked on. I can't go to the dentist, I can't get my hair cut, I can't go swimming, and it took me four weeks to find toilet paper in a store. THIS IS A WEIRD TIME, PEOPLE.

An unexpected problem has arisen since the quarantine: shortage of quarters. My apartment complex has shut down all community services save for laundry (thank goodness). The laundry machines do not take cards and require quarters. The laundry room has no change dispenser. This is a gross oversight on the part of management in my opinion, but I'm not in charge here. 

Normally, when I need quarters, I go to a random local bank, walk in and ask them to exchange a $20 bill for a couple rolls of quarters. Yes, you can do that without an account as long as it's not a ton of quarters and not very often. I don't like cleaning out registers at stores, and especially during the quarantine I don't want to put more stress on the clerks. So, at the beginning of lockdown I had some quarters in my supply that I used for laundry. And then I ran out. And the banks are all closed so I can't just walk in and get more. And then my quest began.

My quest began with my partaking in he activity that everyone is currently doing: nothing. I simply didn't do my laundry for as long as I possibly could in the hopes that this stupid virus would get under control enough for bank lobbies to reopen safely. Well, that clearly hasn't happened. And Mt. Laundry was growing.

So, when I went to money services at the grocery store get a money order to pay my rent, I asked the clerk for some quarters. I was able to get enough quarters to do the laundry I had, but as previously stated, I don't like doing that. I had delayed the problem for a while. But the problem with clothes is that we wear them all the time and I only have a finite amount, so of course I started to run out again. There is something inherently frustrating about having the money for something, but being unable to pay for it because your money is in the wrong form. I needed a steady supply of quarters, preferably from a mechanical source so that I'm not making a clerk handle money (which, as we all know, is super germy). I needed a bill changer. Now, where can I find a bill changer in our modern money-less society?

Laundry room? Doesn't have one.

Arcade? Closed.

Vending machines at work? Only take singles, and I don't have any.

Car wash?.....now there's an idea.

No people, plenty of quarters for the taking, and open at all hours, so I can go whenever I want. Perfect.

I remembered that there was a car wash that I passed on my way to work every day. So, I pulled up and started fiddling with the machine. I put in my money and tried to ask for change. Aaaaaaaaaaaand I discovered that it doesn't do change. I had to ask the attendant for a refund because I was not about to be late for work going through a car wash I didn't need. Well, I just made a total fool of myself and it's not even 9am.

Then next day I went for my weekly grocery run and I found another car wash along my route. This time I drove around it looking for a machine. I saw none, and got some funny looks for driving a few laps around and leaving. I will get these dang quarters, no matter how stupid I look while doing it. Mt. Laundry must be conquered!

As I was on one of my daily walks, I took a different route than usual, because I, like everyone else in quarantine, was bored. And I saw it. Another car wash in a direction I don't normally drive. It was across a fairly wide street, so I couldn't see if it had a change machine, but it was there, and it was possible. I didn't have my wallet with me anyway, so there was no point in crossing the street to check.

The next day, I drove up and saw it. A good old-fashioned quarter dispenser. I shoved my $5 into the slot. And nothing happened. It didn't take my bill. The machine must be broken. Or out of coins. I don't know. Dejected, I got back into my car and started to drive away. and I saw another one on the other side of the car wash. A junky, weathered coin dispenser with peeling stickers. I shoved my $5 bill into the slot and was rewarded with the sweet, sweet sound of quarters dropping into the hopper. I had found my new quarter supplier. Mt. Laundry is no more.

I hope you enjoyed this lighthearted and probably over-dramatic take on my silly problem and the lengths to which I went in solving it. Stay safe and try to stay sane, my friends. And do your laundry!